"While you're far away and dreaming" --Aerosmith

Have you seen the television ads for Drag Me to Hell? *rubs nose*

I hate them. *rubs nose* It's not the demons/corpses. *rubs nose* Or the butcher knives. *rubs nose* Or scenes of being dragged violently away while screaming. *rubs nose* It's not even that weird vomiting of red clouds. *rubs nose*

It's that two second shot of a fly crawling up someone's nose while they sleep. *rubs nose* Ugh! You want a creepy movie? Just do two hours of bugs crawling into someone's nose while they sleep. *rubs nose* Because, that'll do it!

*rubs nose*

*rubs nose*





*rubs nose*

Ode to the Cafeteria Lady

Dear Cafeteria Lady,

Most food handlers shyly bandage their wounds, as if they are something to be ashamed of and covered up. Not you! You gave me and others a good view of your open sores. I don't know what created those festering spots on your arms, but I want to thank you for serving as a role model and displaying them nonchalantly... proudly, even! That kind of honesty and openness is the mark of a truly different level of service!

Yours in Bacitracin,


L.A. Cochran



On a related hygiene/food service note, I am recycling a topic that I've never gotten a satisfactory answer to: What's the deal with servers putting bill holders (your bill in a leatherette holder) down the back of their pants?

I don't want to see that. Does anybody want to see that? I know servers have a lot to juggle but, people, EW.