"I miss you when I am away" --Scorpions

Hello darlings,

It is a crazy time. I am heading to Florida to make a presentation that I shouldn't be making. I an not the person to speak at this conference but, here I am, speaking at this conference. You understand?

It's not like anyone says "Gee, LA is the most well-versed person on this topic" or even "Gee, LA is such a terrific speaker it doesn't matter what we throw at her." No. We are five of us heading to this conference and everyone else is kicking back and enjoying a trip to Florida. Everyone except me.

Because in my case, they say, "Man, I don't want to do this and you don't want to do this and yet we have to have somebody do this. Do you suppose we could get LA to do this?"

And so they ask.

And I say "What the hell, I'll give it a shot" and I do it. Not because I should but because I'm willing. It doesn't bode well.

And meanwhile, I'm thinking that it's been over two weeks since I've had a normal night's sleep. By normal, that is to say, two weeks since I haven't woken up in a blind panic or spent 4 out of 8 hours lying awake with my brain churning. Crazy. Maybe more than two weeks. Who can keep track?

What I've really wanted to write about, but haven't managed to defrag my brain enough to write about, is that I am troubled by a few different trends in waitstaff behavior.

First, why is writing down stuff a bad thing? No, really, tell me why!

Remember when a waitstaff type person would write down your order and you'd get what you wanted and everyone would be happy? No, really... remember? Don't toy with me. It happened. I remember it. Fondly.

Yet these days, it seems any decent restaurant has a waitstaff person that would rather slit their own throat than write down your order. No, they'll just memorize it. Unless they can't. In which case, if you're lucky, they'll come by to ask "Did you have the filet of sole or the grouper?" because they just flippin' can't remember. Or they'll just bring you the wrong thing and hope that's okay. Why? WHY?? Why can't they write it down??!?!

And, as long as we're at it, what is this trend where waitstaff feel compelled to tell you what they like? This has happened a LOT lately.

Me: Mmm, I think I'll have the Shrimp Fra Diavolo.

Waitress: Ooo, good choice! That's one of my favorites! I love that!!

Um, okay. Why is that important? Why do I care if that's the waitress' favorite? It's one thing to point out what's a popular dish among patrons or the chef's specialty but I have had a waiter go through the menu pointing out every single thing he, personally, liked. As if this, in some way, will correlate with what I like. Oh, I was going to get the calamari but since you didn't list it among your favorites, that's right out now.