"A change would do you good" --Sheryl Crow

We wind up out of pocket a little longer than anticipated,* and while we are away, we spend some time with some aging relatives and see how their lives are changing, shrinking, getting much harder. Want some perspective? Spend some time with people that are up in years. Your troubles will float away.

We stop for lunch and we put down two twenties on a $27 tab. The waitress comes and asks us, "Do you need change?"

"Yes, please."

Because, if we're going to leave a large tip, it's going to be our idea, not theirs. While she is getting our change, we talk about her question. Is it a reasonable question? I point out that I don't think the woman that picked up the check is the same woman that laid down the check so this woman doesn't even know how much the check is when she asks her question.

"So, you're not offended?"

"No. I could be. But I don't want to be. It was a decent meal and okay service. Let's assume the best."

We leave a healthy tip and head out, trying to simply be appreciative for what we have and not look for reasons to get insulted. (There are so many, aren't there?)

Which brings us to the question of the day: Is asking "Do you want change?" ever a reasonable question? Should she have just brought change and not asked?



* And yet I still manage to post. How can that be? Some sort of voodoo interwebs magic, I guess. OOOoooOOOoooo.

"In change there is opportunity"--(I don't know who said it originally but I say it all the time)

Years ago, back when only segments of the economy--as opposed to the entire economy--were failing, and there were swath-like layoffs at a variety of blue chip companies, a friend of mine lost his job. He was in his mid-fifties and had always been in the same, high-prestige, high-salary career and had spent most of his professional life with the organization that was now no longer able to retain him.

He was (and still is) an analytical fellow so he got to work on figuring out his next job. He called all his contacts. He updated his resume. He got up every work day and went into his home office and worked at finding a job. He followed leads. He went on interviews.

He did this for two years with no success.

His wife, also my friend, felt bad for him and didn't know how to help.

His daughter suggested he try something different, if only to get him out of the house and pass the time. So, he signed up for bartending school. A few weeks later, he got his license and applied for a job at a local restaurant. He got it. He started tending bar several nights a week. He found he liked getting back into society, chatting with people, being able to perform a competent service for which people were grateful, and getting paid--even if it was only a small fraction of his previous salary.

Within a month of starting this job, he got a job offer in his preferred profession and took it.

I think about that experience because I think there was a direct correlation between my friend working as a bartender and how he saw himself and, therefore, the image he projected to the world. His ego had taken quite a beating. He needed to feel good about himself again before other people would feel good about hiring him.

I think we all get stuck sometimes. We want things the way we want them and we don't see how staying in the same pattern limits us. Sometimes a simple change, even something way off from our focus, can make all the difference.

*raises glass*

Here's wishing each of you success in staying flexible, exploring new possibilities, and getting what you desire most in difficult economic times.