"Why you have to go and make things so complicated?" --Avril Lavigne

Today we got a new washing machine.  Isn't she lovely?

This became necessary when the old one shook, rattled, did the electric slide into the middle of the room, leaked, and squealed repeatedly.*

This is the simplest, cheapest name brand washing machine we could find with an okay energy rating.

Check it:  4 knobs and a button.  That was the simplest.  I swear.  In addition to a power button on the right, you have:

your 6 "load size" settings, your 6 "temperature" settings, and your 5 "options".  Enough for any one's needs, right?

Apparently not.  Because you also have this:

because how could you live without a Jeans setting?  How did we live without a Jeans setting?  We were animals.

What I really want in a washing machine:
                      Small, medium, large.
                      Hot, warm, cold.
                      Wet, swish, rinse, and spin.

That's it.  The rest is fluff.** 

It's like a blender having a frappe setting.  For all your constant frappe-ing needs.  When it's the same blade in the same container no matter what you set it on.  The only thing changing is the speed.  So, why not have a speed button that goes from 1 to 10 and be done.  Or better yet, 1 to 5.  Or 1 to 3.  Or On and Off!  Life is so damn complicated!!!

Question du jour: How often do you frappe? ***



* Sure, when the baby does it, everyone thinks it's adorable.

** Oh, wait, that's a dryer setting.

***  Do you do it in sight of the neighbors?