The NaBloPoMo Writing Process

The afternoon before:
Open New Post screen. Stare at blank screen. Close New Post screen.

Open New Post screen. Stare at blank screen. Close New Post screen.

Well, that's it. I am officially out of things to say. NaBloPoMo has sucked me dry.

Oh, come on. You can totally do this.

I'm doubtful.

You signed up for it. You have to do it. It's a matter of pride. It's a matter of integrity. It's a matter of discipline. Do it.

How can the Black Eyed Peas have a hit song with 40 seconds of nothing but "Do it and do it and do it and do it and do it and do it and do--"?

Focus!

Open New Post screen. Stare at blank screen. Write stupid post about stupid subject. Reread stupid post and tweak it 2,344 times, rereading it after every single tweak.

Check date. Set autopost date and time. Curse the Blogger time offset. Curse my math skills. Re-check date. Re-check autopost date and time.

Trust the autopost. Trust the autopost. Trust the autopost.

Hit the autopost button and seize up, anticipating that the post has flung itself into the blogosphere. Breathe a sigh of relief when it comes up as "scheduled."

Open the post and reread it. Tweak it and reread it 31 more times.

Check autopost date and time again.

Trust the autopost. Trust the autopost. Trust the autopost.

Hit the autopost button and seize up. Breathe a sigh of relief when it, again, comes up as "scheduled."

Force self to go home without the computer.

The evening before:
Dammit! I should have brought the computer home. Wonder if I can rewrite the entire post from my phone? Or maybe the DSi, since it has a larger screen. Of course, I'd have to type each letter with the stylus--

Stop it.

It's a crappy post.

They can't all be golden. It still counts.

The morning of:
Check via phone that the post actually has posted at the appropriate time. Wonder why I am humming "I Gotta Feeling." Reread post. Notice typo that was not visible during any of the thousands of previous readings. Curse. Consider the post as a whole.

It's not as bad as I remembered. It's not *good* but I've done worse.

2 minutes after posting:
No one's commenting. Why isn't anyone commenting? Talk to me, people!

It hasn't even hit the reader yet.

Oh.

20 minutes after posting:
Okay, now it's hit the reader. Nobody's commenting. God, this is a sucky post. People are embarrassed for me, I can feel it.

Shut up.

*You* shut up.

Calm down. They'll comment.

They won't. It totally sucks.

True, but they'll still comment.

They won't.

*sighhhh*

When the first comment comes in:
YAAAAAAAAAYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm not gammoned! This is great! Haha, a witty comment!

One minute later:
So, what? That's it? One comment?!

Shut up!

*You* shut up!