Open Letter to CNN

Dear CNN,

I don't know what sadistic game you're playing but you have to stop scaring my mother.

Every time you show anything bad happening in or near Washington, DC (and, really, how often do you show anything good happening?), my mother assumes that it is happening to me. Tornado touches down in Fairfax? Me. Multiple murders in Southeast? Me.

This morning, you reported on your national news that there was a huge water main break on River Road in Bethesda and there were helicopter rescues from the trapped cars in the rushing, way cold water. Guess where my mother thought I was?

Doesn't matter that I live nowhere near Bethesda. Doesn't matter that I work nowhere near Bethesda. Doesn't matter that this morning I'd have as much chance of being in Gdansk as Bethesda.

She called, very upset.

She's an old lady.

That's just mean.

-L A Cochran


PS to Anderson: For the inauguration, it's your turn to bring the vodka. And none of that cheap stuff, like last time. Although you looked cute passed out in the kitty litter.