19 May 2009

"I know this is the time, this is the time to be..." --David Cook

[Okay, the cartoon has nothing to do with the post except for the very thinnest of tangents but I liked it. It's got dogs doing people stuff. Pretty great, right?!]

True story: I've long been looking for a way to be more collaborative in the blogging world.

And, call me crazy, but I've sensed a desire from you, too. You're nodding! I knew it! I'm right about your yearning to be closer to me.

Yesterday, I saw our opportunity. *nudge*nudge*

Based on the enthusiastic responses to my recent "Hallmark cards for blogger occasions" posts, I've decided to generously partner with those who want in on the ground floor. Yes, even in this incredibly challenging economy, I've decided to share my efforts to create a niche market with Hallmark.

But "Hallmark cards for blogger occasions" is such a mouthful. Let's simplify with a potent acronym; something that really speaks to what this is all about. I'm looking to develop a synergy among all of you creative and artistic people. Something with the energy of a flash mob. Mobs are fun! People love mobs! So... Synergistic, Creative, Artistic Mob! (SCAM!)

Here's my offer:

Your exciting role:

  1. Pay a nominal SCAM! registration fee*
  2. Create the material, allowing you to enjoy flexing your amazingly creative muscle**
  3. Submit the material to me
  4. Bask in the knowledge that you've provided the solid base of an amazingly successful pyram--er, mob
  5. Get invited to international, exclusive SCAM! events, where you'll get to mingle with other creative geniuses on the SCAM! team***
  6. Some of you will even receive special "preview" cards before the client or the public! You'll be able to edit these cards for SCAM! during your exclusive viewing!
My mundane role:
  • Shoulder through the cumbersome business start-up process
  • Do all the tiresome marketing to Hallmark (aka "the client")
  • Serve as the "front person" to absorb any feedback so you don't have to be bothered with "non-creative" issues from the client
  • Handle all the financial aspects including the nuisance of receiving and cashing checks from the client
For the first 25 respondents, I'll reduce the registration fee by half! So, what are you waiting for? Isn't it time we took our relationship to the next level?

* I only include this fee out of respect for you. Any wise businessperson knows nothing comes for free. I wouldn't insult your intelligence by suggesting otherwise.

**That's what she said! Ha, ha! See, we can have fun together. Good times! But seriously, you're so creative you wouldn't have used the words "create" and "creative" in the same sentence.

*** Some events may include finger food, such as, but not limited to, pigs in blankets! Yes, pigs in blankets! Who doesn't love pigs in blankets?!****

**** SCAM! reserves the right to substitute equal or greater finger foods for pigs in blankets.


Fearless in Toronto said...

I humbly offer my legal services*, as I sense you'll be requiring one shortly.

*Offer valid in Canada only.

Anonymous said...

Why not? I'll do anything for pigs in a blanket

Gilahi said...

[Front of card]
Photo of an American flag along with the words, "Congratulations on your new startup company!"

[Inside of card]
Supposedly half your income
will go to Uncle Sam,
but only if you report it.
Congrats on your new SCAM.

Liebchen said...

"I only include this fee out of respect for you. Any wise businessperson knows nothing comes for free. I wouldn't insult your intelligence by suggesting otherwise."

So thoughtful of you! I'm in. Where do I sign?

f.B said...

I wanna be part of a scam!

fiona said...

Count me in!
Can I have some kinda "official" title? Just want to feel important and I'm kinda bossy too!

Deutlich said...

best acronym ever

Herb of DC said...

Throw in extended automobile warranty coverage and I'm in!

rs27 said...

Hallmark still does cards?

Mike said...

I want to come to a SCAM! event. So if you'll send me your bank account number so I can deposit my fees I'll be SCAMin' right there.

Maxie said...

I'm the least creative person in the whole universe.


Barbara said...

That's exactly how it worked. Can't you just picture people like Madoff whistling as they made those daily deposits on behalf of their grateful clients! Some people just love giving their money to others to spend, er... save.

lacochran said...

Fearless in Toronto: Legal representation in every country is my long-term goal! Thanks! You're hired!

liferehab: Or equal or greater finger food! Thanks! You're hired!

Gilahi: That's creativity! You'll fit in well. Thanks! You're hired!

Liebchen: Your comment serves as your signature. Thanks! You're hired!

f.B: Of course you do! Thanks! You're hired!

fiona: How about "Chief Executive in Charge of Pigs in Blankets"? Thanks! You're hired!

Deutlich: I'll take from your compliment that you value the offer. Thanks! You're hired!

Herb of DC: We'll work all that out at the first SCAM event. Thanks! You're hired!

rs27: And GREAT ones! I'll take from your question that you're intrigued. Thanks! You're hired!

Mike: Of course you do! You'll be getting a separate communique on payment options. Thanks! You're hired!

Maxie: Nay! Nay! I've seen you're blog. Very creative! No reason to worry. Thanks! You're hired!

Barbara: So glad you're up on topical items. That will come in handy in crafting new, clever cards. Thanks! You're hired!