*sniffs armpit*, *breathes into palm and sniffs*

You ever miss a step in your routine?

I do a number of grooming steps every day (you're welcome, world), in a certain order, including shaving my legs.

At least, I think I do.

Last Tuesday morning, I was in a meeting and I crossed my legs only to find stubble! I had missed shaving one of my calves (Is it calves? Or calfs? You know what I mean: I missed shaving a young bovine and how often do you get that kind of opportunity?)

Since I shave every day, nobody was going to notice that tiny bit of stubble and point and shout "Hey, nice head of hair on those legs!" On the other hand, I noticed it all flippin' day. One smooth leg, one stubbly leg. It was like when you bite the inside of your mouth and then your tongue develops Alzheimer's and keeps going back to that spot as if repeating, "Hey, what's this?? Oh, yeah! You bit the inside of your mouth! Man, that sucks... ...Hey, what's this??"

So now I'm paranoid. I wind up shaving my legs and then checking that I shaved my legs and then checking again as if they're suddenly not going to be shaved after I just checked two minutes ago.

It's not like I've got 426 steps to my daily ablutions. How did this happen? And if I missed that, do I sometimes forget more important things? Like brushing my teeth or applying deodorant? Is it impending senility, for real?

Gaack.

Applause, Applause

Elvira Kurt is a very funny stand up comic. If you get the chance to see her, do. In person, on Youtube, wherever.

When I found out she was coming to GWU, I got tickets. There was a choice of the 7 pm or the 10 pm show. We're old, ergo, we went to the 7 pm show Saturday night.

She was funny as were the warm-up comics: Trevor Boris, Jackie Monahan and Vidur Kapur.

Here's the thing... (by now, you know there's always a thing...)

The entire 7 pm show, and different shots of the 7 pm audience, were filmed for a special that's going to air on Logo. So, it's possible we'll be on television. That's fine. If anyone happens to get Logo (we don't) and can record it for us, that would be great.

What's less fine: They took 40 minutes to set up the audience in just the right configuration and get whatever technical difficulties they were having worked out. It's hard to feel enthusiastic and upbeat for a comedy show after that long a wait. And there were pauses in between acts while the crew reset things. The pauses were brief, but in a comedy show, timing is everything and it's really easy to lose momentum.

Also, before the show, in addition to having us clap and cheer for a couple minutes while they filmed so they could pretend the crowd went wild after the show, they filmed us giving a standing ovation. I get that "applause" signs are as old as television but a standing o? We did so much pretend cheering and clapping that my hands hurt.

When the show actually was over, the performers all came out and... we gave them a standing ovation. I'd like to think it was real but I dunno. It's possible the audience felt that this was what we'd practiced so we might as well do it again.

It made me wonder about all those times I've seen specials on television and there's a standing ovation at the end... How many were filmed before the show? How many were strongly suggested?

Operators are Standing By*

The mechanic called to give me an estimate on what it's going to take to get my car healthy again so I can earn one of those fancy pass stickers for the safety inspection. His first words: "You may want to sit down for this."** Hence...

For sale: 1 kidney.

Description: Swimming pool shaped.

Condition: In better shape than my liver. Also, never cut out of me while I was unconscious in a tub of ice.

Price: Highest bidder gets this sweet organ.

Special deal: Tell the operator that you are interested in joining our club and you'll receive a second (mystery!) body part!*** That's right, you'll automatically receive a second body part*** valued at 29.95! Don't delay!


* Why don't they let the operators sit?

** Good thing I'm not an operator.

*** Or some crappy thing I have tucked in the closet and was going to give to charity anyway.

All rights reserved. Returned body parts are subject to handling charges. 30-day money back guarantee subject to state regulations and does not cover kidneys or mystery body parts or crappy things from the closet. Kidney installation not included. Not responsible for any damage to contents during shipping. Void in Pensacola, FL. We reserve the right to substitute an organ of equal or greater value that may, or may not, be a genuine lacochran kidney. Any resemblance of kidney/organ to a gefilte fish ball, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Actual kidney/organ/gefilte fish ball may be smaller or larger or less shiny or more fishy than pictured. Not affiliated with Kidneyrama [TM], Kidneys!Kidneys!Kidneys! [TM], or Kidneys 'R' Us [TM] or their subsidiaries. Offer valid while supplies last.

I Love This Video

The story...

These people were always finding water all over their pool deck and furniture every time they came home after being away for a few hours. They thought the neighborhood kids were watching for them to leave and using the pool. However, they could never catch them doing it. So, they set up their video camera and left. Here's what they found:




I doubt the story is true, given, among other things, the movement of the camera but, so what? The footage is still a hoot. Is he livin' large, or what?! :) Talk about joie de vivre!

When was the last time you had that much pure fun?

I've said it before, I'll say it again: We can learn a lot from dogs.

You Don't Have to Go Home But You Can't Stay Here (Restaurant Review: Indigo Landing)

Last Sunday, we gave Indigo Landing another try. This time we actually found a parking space on the first go 'round and enjoyed a 7:30 dinner. They have a nice bar overlooking the water but this was our first venture into the dining room.

Our view to the left...


straight ahead...


to the right...


Ahhhhh.

Ambiance: 25/30. Although it may not be obvious from these pictures, the restaurant is across the water from [insert name of doddering, folksy president who wasn't my grandpa] National airport and you could see the airport tower if the photo quality was better (camera phone quality leaves something to be desired). Periodically, you'd hear the planes overhead but it wasn't really intrusive. The room was pretty, too, but it's the view, with the Washington Monument and the Capitol dome in the distance and the occasional bobbing sailboat in the foreground, that continues to sell the place. People were anywhere from casual to chic in dress.

Service: 28/30. The service was pleasant, efficient and knowledgeable. We were seated promptly and given a very nice table. A question about a particular wine in comparison to others brought accurate information. (And they had a decent selection of wines, too.)

Food: 23/30. They've changed chefs. It's no longer all about low country specialty food but a nice range of options all the same. Overall, the food was certainly good without being remarkable. We tried the Grilled Garlic Naan and Homemade Hummus as an appetizer. Hubby had the Sesame Ginger Tuna and I had the Maple Lacquered Alaskan Salmon. The naan was chewy, the hummus good but could have benefited from a lift of lemon or garlic or something. Similarly, the fish was fresh and tasty but nothing outrageously fabulous. The high point of the meal came with the arrival of the bread pudding, complete with a scoop of cinnamon ice cream and bourbon sauce. Excellent!

Vegetarian Options: 5/30. Not much here for vegetarians outside of salad and the above mentioned appetizer.

Cost: 25/30. Pretty reasonable considering this town's penchant for over-inflated prices. Appetizers list for $6 to $9 and mains are mostly around $20 but you can get a sandwich for as little as $8 or a Filet Mignon for $29.

Bonus: +2 for the free parking. +3 for the bread basket because gotta give extra points to any restaurant that serves a warm assortment of breads. But keep reading...

The evening wore down and as the sun shifted, we could squint and almost pretend we were some place tropical. Ahh... Just about the time I was thinking someone ought to bring me something in a coconut,


the lights in the dining room came up full force. I joked "Last call!" and asked the waiter what was going on. He basically told me, it was, indeed, last call. The hour? 9:00. How rude! -5! No bonus for you!

Overall: 21/30.