"Head, shoulders, knees and toes (knees and toes)" --Learning Station

It being January and all, and in my continuing quest to be the best darn lemming I can be, I have invested in new exercise DVDs and equipment.* This time I have jumped on the kettlebell craze. I am already reaping the benefits. The main benefit being that I can now say the word "kettlebell" indiscriminately and with vigor. And I do!

Kettlebell.

See? I guess I could have all along, but now--now--it feels like I have purpose!


I say it a good 20-30 times a day. Kettlebell. It's fun! Try it! Kettlebell. I've even taken to calling the husband "Kettlebell", which he seems to think is a nice change up from what I was calling him since our last flight, two weeks ago: "Hammacher Schlemmer...with extra schlemmer."**

Questions du jour: Do you exercise more in January? Would you consider "Kettlebell" a term of endearment?




* *Casually sidles left, blocking view of older, dust-topped equipment*

** Who buys from Sky Mall? Who? Who says, "Yes! On the ground I was bogged down with silly concerns but now that I'm 30,000 feet up, it makes perfect sense to order the voice activated R2D2 for a mere $199.95!"***

***Available from Hammacher Schlemmer. ****

**** Extra schlemmer not included. *****

***** Kettlebell.

"That I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped up four wheel drive" -- Carrie Underwood

Elizabeth Edwards leaves husband John out of will

– 1 hr 7 mins ago

HILLSBOROUGH, N.C. – The will Elizabeth Edwards signed days before her death last month makes no mention of her estranged husband and two-time presidential candidate John Edwards.

The News & Observer of Raleigh reported Thursday that Elizabeth Edwards left all her possessions to her three surviving children.

Her last will and testament names as the executor of her estate her eldest child, lawyer Cate Edwards.

Elizabeth Edwards died Dec. 7, six days after she signed the will filed in Orange County Superior Court in North Carolina.

The Edwardses separated early last year after 32 years of marriage. John Edwards admitted he fathered a child during an affair with a former campaign worker.

Is it wrong that when I heard this story this morning on the radio, I smiled?

"Oh, I don't want a lot for Christmas" --Mariah Carey

For the holidays, Hubby received a book he didn't want. Luckily, the gift receipt was pressed between the pages of the book. As there were plenty of books he did want, he high-tailed it over to the book-selling chain to return the book. The cashier took one look at the book and gift receipt and apologized that she could not honor the return. The receipt, and the book, were two years old. Shocked, he looked more closely at the receipt. Sure enough, it was dated 2008!

It put me in mind of another awkward but true gift situation: Years ago, a girlfriend gave me a cheese board. It was one of those boards with a wire cutter device to neatly slice the cheese. It looked something like this: I opened the present and was delighted. I love cheese and all cheese-related gewgaws. Here my friend was, inviting me to cut the cheese in new and exciting ways! Then, I pulled the board out of the generic looking box and lifted the wire to check out the cutting motion. There were bits of cheese on the wire. Cheddar, by the looks of it. After an awkward pause, girlfriend said "I tried it out to make sure it worked."

Um, yeah. Or you bought it at a yard sale and didn't bother to check if it was clean.

Now, I've re-gifted but I hope I've never hit these kinds of lows.

Questions du jour: Ever receive an OBVIOUS re-gift? Is re-gifting a smart thing or a tacky thing?

"Who's with me?" --Bluto, Animal House

So many bloggers take this time of year to sum up; to review. This year is no exception. I've seen a number of bloggers wax on about the year they've had--the ups, the downs, and what's made the most impact on them in 2010. I keep replaying the year and one word comes back to me, over and over again. One word haunts me like a Justin Bieber melody. One word, People:

Sharktopus.

How is it that this SyFy channel original didn't make any of the top 10 movie lists for the year? It's a shammockery! We must get that do-nothing congress and that fetching but lackadaisical supreme court to take action on this promptly. This will not stand!

Who's with me? Loud and proud now:

(to the tune of "At-ti-ca! At-ti-ca!...")

Sharktopus! Sharktopus!...

"I'm sick but I'm pretty, Baby" --Alanis Morissette

Hi there. I'm writing you from bed. Because I'm waaaay sexy that way.

Okay, I'll admit it. I'm sick.

Why are you holding a bowl of mashed potatoes and a cat o' nine tails?

No, I don't mean sick. *perverted hand gesture* I mean sick. *pathetic face* *

I have a cold. I've had all the popular symptoms: the clogged ear, the scratchy throat, the muzzy eyes, the sneezing, the nose like a faucet, and now the congestion and low-grade fever. Niiiiice. Happy Chanukah to me.

Speaking of Chanukah, I'm not sure Walmart is clear on the concept...



I have to get rid of this cold toot sweet as we've booked a trip to St. Thomas for a friend's wedding and it is fast approaching. At least, thanks to Pardis Parker, I feel secure...



I've taken a few security classes through the years (both cyber and personal) and one of the key things they stress is the illusion of safety. The idea is that you can't plan for all possible threats but you can put in some safeguards and provide the appearance that you're paying attention.

Which brings us to the question du jour: Do you feel safer thanks to the TSA?



* Awwww, you're adorable when you pout. And you get extra points for keeping the potatoes warm.