04 December 2008

"No more pencils, no more books, no more teacher's dirty looks" --Alice Cooper

In honor of To Blog Or's brave/foolish recent attendance at his school reunion, I thought I might share a little of my formative years...

When I was sixteen, I was late to school every day.

Every. Single. Day.

I was sixteen and in the habit of staying up until 3 or 4 in the morning so once I got to sleep I wasn't excited about getting up early enough to go to Homeroom. Homeroom was when they checked attendance and made announcements about JV bake sales and such.

I saw it as optional.*

The vice principle had a different take on it.

He called my mother and asked her to come in. She was none too happy about missing work.

I was not invited to the meeting between Vice Principle and Mum but I can imagine how it went, based on the fact that I know my mum. Here's how I imagine it went down:

VP: Thanks for coming in, Mrs. F.

Mum: I'm missing work so whatever it is, can we make it quick, please?

VP: We have a serious problem. LA is late to school every day.

Mum: And?

VP: She needs to come to school on time.

Mum: She's sixteen. What do you want me to do, drag her here?

VP: She's missing Homeroom every day. We can't have that.

Mum: Homeroom? What's that?

VP: We take attendance first thing in the morning and make announcements.

Mum: Oh. ...And?

VP: You can understand how important it is that she be on time...

Mum: Is she failing anything?

VP: Well... no...

Mum: Then I don't see a problem. In fact, as long as we're here, I have a few things to say to you about how much time is wasted in this school. Take "Gym". Where I come from, we learned all kinds of subjects, like Latin and Advanced Calculus, and we didn't waste our time playing on a field. Now here's what I think you ought to do [insert diatribe about how terrible American schools are and how she'd like Gym and maybe a few other subjects eliminated from the curriculum.]

I never got hassled again. In fact, the Vice Principle avoided eye contact when I passed him in the hall. Heh. Mum rocks!

* Who me? Issues with authority? Um, yeah, you could say that. Where some see "rules", I see "guidelines"... "suggestions"... "possible approaches." Now doesn't that sound more reasonable?


Anonymous said...

Um. Yeah she does.

I wish my mom did that for me!

LBluca77 said...

My mom would have dragged me to school.

It's funny that once you are out of HS you realize how much of it is pointless. Except for lunch, we used to get the personal pan pizza's delivered everyday. Yummy.

Anonymous said...

I'm glad I could inspire a blog entry!

I was never late to school, ever. Why? Because I was smart. I had to walk to school, and it was a bitch. But, I soon learned that my homeroom teacher drove directly by my house to get to school, about the same time every day. So, if I timed it just right, I would try to look tired and pathetic while trudging slowly down the sidewalk, and he'd take pity and drive me to school with him.

Kate said...

Way to go, mom!

rachaelgking said...

Oh man, I wish my mom had done that! I had to befriend the attendance ladies and get them to fudge things for me.

brad said...

aww man. That's so cool.

I made my mom miss work once to see me in a spelling bee. I told her I was the heavy favorite.

First round, first word: "often."

Me? " o - f - f - e - n. Offen."

I didn't bother asking her to come to the next one. And that was a good call. Because at that one, I was the 6th person in a row to misspell "announcement" in the first round.

Mike said...

If your mum tried that these days she'd be labeled a terrorist.

Rahul said...

I was earlyt to homeroom once and got called to the princial's office.

The lesson? Never be early for anything.

Katherine said...

Your mother is my hero. Do you rent her out?

lacochran said...

Kristin: Yeah, she also sees rules as "suggestions". It's probably not the best/easiest way to go through life.

LBluca77: I think a lot of it is intentional and somewhat arbitrary beat down, supposedly to help you get ready for adulthood.

Doug: How to work the tired and pathetic look!

Kate: :) Yeah!

Lilu: You developed charm. I developed attitude. I'm guessing your skills are more useful.

f.B: Ha! (Laughing with you not at you. Well, maybe a little at you. You as a child. Not now. So it's okay.)

Mike: We live in a strange world.

Rs27: It just makes good sense.

Katherine: Sure! She'll be happy to tell anyone off!

Kristin said...

Your mom is awesome. My mom used guilt to get me to do what other people expected. She was too worried about appearances to think about reality.

lacochran said...

Kristin: You probably didn't grow up thinking you could do whatever you damn well pleased. Not the best way to make friends and influence people. Just saying there are trade offs.