10 November 2008

"There's no need to complicate, our time is short" --Jason Mraz*


This has been happening more and more so I thought I'd provide a little PSA.

Two nights ago it happened again. I was on my way home from work** and I signaled to turn left. A car on the other side of the double yellow came to a dead stop--with cars behind them--to let me turn.

It wasn't like traffic was backed up in front of them and they were giving right-of-way because they couldn't move forward. No, there was no reason for them to stop. But stop they did and flashed their lights. While cars behind them no doubt thought "WTF?"

And I thought "WTF?" If this were an isolated instance, I'd say fine, just a nutjob. But this is happening a lot lately. Am I that scary as to incite a "No, no, please, dear god, you go right ahead" response? I'm not driving the batmobile, here.

People, you shouldn't give me your right-of-way! Sure, it starts innocently enough... then, before you know it, you're giving me all kinds of things you weren't planning on.***

So let's stick with the established rules, shall we? Right-of-way dictates that there is a right and a wrong to traffic order. It's not just a "nice to have", it keeps us safe. So, all you folks who are too polite to go when you're supposed to, or have decided that a four-way stop is the perfect time to work through your BDSM issues:

STOP.


And by STOP, I mean, of course,

GO!

Thank you.

We now return to your regularly scheduled programming already too far in progress for you to enjoy.


* Why should I be the only one with this earworm?

** Read: sober and driving perfectly well, thankyouverymuch.

*** You gonna eat those french fries? Oh, and that's a pretty sweet looking t-shirt. Do you think it would fit me? By the way, can you water my plants and mow my lawn? No, I'm not traveling, why do you ask?****

**** When I was in high school, one of my favorite flirts was to ask a cute guy if I could wear his whatever... hoodie, jacket, sweater. There was something really cozy about knowing I was wearing something that belonged to him. I had some items for months on end. Which just makes my point, you don't want to start giving me things.

17 comments:

Narm said...

I've lost many a comfy t-shirt from similar flirtatious moves. Evil - pure evil.

singlikesassy said...

I do this!! I figure it's my good deed of the day so I can get into heaven booster. But I'll stop. I mean go. I mean, I'll stop stopping and go. Wait. What?

Ibid said...

Supplementary material:

1) That stop sign will not get any greener so stop waiting for it to change.

2) The gas pedal is the one on the right. Please use it.

Matt said...

If I see an iguana, I'm gunnin for it.

right away my ass.

Mike said...

BDSM? Do you have pictures???

Oh wait. We're talking about traffic. People should never wave somebody across or through traffic. By doing this they become liable for any accidents that might happen because they were 'directing traffic'.

LBluca77 said...

That is when I honk and give my driving finger.

f.B said...

i take great pride in doing one of two things at times like those: 1) vociferously accosting that person while making my turn. because imputed shame always, ALWAYS, at least returns the power in the situation to its rightful place - my hands; or 2) out gentleman (or gentleperson) them and just wait them out. "no you go first, i insist, damnit. i've got everything to lose, a bunch to prove and no wisdom to know any better."

Gilahi said...

And here's the deal: if they wave you through, you accept their kindness, they change their mind and smack into your car halfway through your turn, it's your fault because they had right-of-way.

Herb of DC said...

Are you sure you didn't drive all the way to Indiana by mistake? They do that there all the time. They don't have traffic jams, they have politeness jams.

Doug said...

when people go way out of their way to be nice when driving... it fucks everyone else up. There are standards for a reason. Yes, you might have been nice, but everyone else behind you is now pissed.

Oh, and as for the flirting stuff thing... thats why I always gave away my old sweaty t-shirts and sweatshirts and stuff. The women loved the smell, and I never cared if I got em back. I guess that means we both win ;)

LiLu said...

This stuff drives me crazy too, even as a pedestrian. When I step into the street and it's clearly obvious that I mean to walk BEHIND your car as you pass me, seeing as there is nothing behind you for 500 feet, and you come to a screeching halt at a green light... THANKS FOR THE AWKWARD.

Jamie said...

I am so with you. We have a system of rules for right-of-way. And by and large it works extremely well when everyone plays by the same rules!

Trying to be nice to someone when it's not their turn (and it's not a situation where there's awful traffic and you've got nowhere to go anyway) confuses people, and slows it down for everyone. It drives me crazy.

I'm reminded of a scene (perhaps from some old television ad) of two trucks at a rural four way stop sign each waving the other to go ahead until the sun went down...

Kristin said...

Those ways frighten and bewilder me. No giving away the right of way. It's too complicated.

rs27 said...

I don't stop for anything.

Including stop signs and red lights.

I have places to be.

Kate said...

I want the right of way. All the time.

Reya Mellicker said...

You have a powerful mo-jo my dear. Remember that incident at the CVS when the cashier kept deducting from the amount you owed?

Can you teach all of us how to cultivate your mo-jo? Please? Write a best-selling book??

C'mon.

lacochran's evil twin said...

Narm: BWA-HA-HA!

SingLikeSassy: Wait. What?

Ibid: Excellent supplementation. Should be mandatory reading for anyone thinking of getting behind the wheel.

Matt: But there so cute. In that ugly way: like bull dogs and old men.

Mike: Do you find the word "titillating" titillating?

Lbluca77: Driving finger. Good one.

f.B: :)

Gilahi: Tricky bastards.

Herb of DC: Politeness jams? Jeez. I prefer raspberry.

Doug: It's no fun if the guy doesn't want it to begin with. It has to be something they're currently wearing.

Lilu: "THANKS FOR THE AWKWARD." I love that! I may have to adopt that as a catch phrase!

Jamie: Yeah!

Kristin: And there's no need to complicate! Our time is short.

Rs27: Well, sure, you.

Kate: :) I like a person who knows what they want and goes for it!

Reya Melliker: I can't even dress myself some days and you want a book? Maybe with lots of pictures... pat the bunny style.