13 November 2008

"I want it... I want it... I want it..." -- The Who


I never thought I'd be participating in LivitLuvit's TMI Thursday because, well, it's just so... sordid. But, if I'm honest with myself, I need to get off my high horse and just tell you.

*takes deep breath and drops eyes* So, yeah, I did it.

I could have not done it. I could have stopped myself. But I really didn't want to.

I deprive myself enough. And, especially at this time of year--losing light and losing warmth is really challenging for me, so I don't think it's unreasonable if I'm in need of a little extra, um, comfort. Yeah, I'm probably rationalizing here, but, I dunno, maybe there's a part of me that gets tired of always doing the right thing. Maybe I like being bad.

So I did it.

You know what? I liked it. A lot. It was satisfying in a deep way. It was profoundly sensual so I lingered. I wasn't alone in the house and I did it anyway, knowing I could get walked in on at any time. And, sure enough, I was caught in the act. Yup! So, maybe I got a little self-conscious but I kept going.

And even that doesn't stop me from thinking I may do it again.

I'm re-reading that and it may sound a little braggy. I'm not trying to brag here. The thing is: you show up here trying to connect with me. You make the effort and I'm grateful. Really, you've no idea what it means to me that you check in on my stupid, little show. So, in return, I figure I owe you a little honesty.

*swallows and catches lower lip in teeth* Some of you are judging me right now. You think less of me. I get that.

*raises eyes* But some of you... you think more. Because either you've thought about it or you've done it, yourself.

You know.

You're into the grilled cheese, too.

15 comments:

AbbotOfUnreason said...

So weird. Me, too. It was cheat day and I had grilled cheese on pumpernickel. And fries. Yum.

Lemmonex said...

Grilled cheese on Texas Toast makes me do a little jig. It's ok...your secret is safe.

Cyndy said...

OMG! My husband just made me THE BEST grilled cheese sandwich last night. With a big ole glass of milk. It was awesome.

Kate said...

And I probably would have said, "It was so good, I did it twice. One right after the other."

GreenCanary said...

Damn. Now all I can think about is grilled cheese.

fiona said...

MmmmmOhhhhhAhhhhhhh BABY!
Gimme more!
Need to go buy cheese now.

LiLu said...

When I was sick yesterday, B made me grilled cheese with BACON. Now that's love!

Viva TMI Thursdays...

Mike said...

What's a 'cheat day'?
BWAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!

rs27 said...

Someone told me grilled cheese is best on a foreman grill.

I shall go try.

Caitlin said...

Perfection! A great TMIT post! Welcome to the club!

f.B said...

ok. i'm just gonna say it. i didn't think this had anything to do with grilled cheese. though at that diner i mentioned a while ago, the grilled cheese was called a "Happy Waitress"

lacochran said...

Vive fromage grillé!

zandria said...

I'd never heard that term until just now...I had to go to Urban Dictionary to look it up. It has a number of definitions there though, so I'm hoping I'm assuming the one you mean... :)

D.C. Confidential said...

Oh, I am SO into the grilled cheese. I have an entire cookbook of nothing but grilled cheese. Now that we've officially met, you will have to come to my house and have grilled cheese.

Reya Mellicker said...

There is no shame in grilled cheese, girlfriend. No shame whatsoever.