07 November 2008

Ode to the Cafeteria Lady

Dear Cafeteria Lady,

Most food handlers shyly bandage their wounds, as if they are something to be ashamed of and covered up. Not you! You gave me and others a good view of your open sores. I don't know what created those festering spots on your arms, but I want to thank you for serving as a role model and displaying them nonchalantly... proudly, even! That kind of honesty and openness is the mark of a truly different level of service!

Yours in Bacitracin,

L.A. Cochran

On a related hygiene/food service note, I am recycling a topic that I've never gotten a satisfactory answer to: What's the deal with servers putting bill holders (your bill in a leatherette holder) down the back of their pants?

I don't want to see that. Does anybody want to see that? I know servers have a lot to juggle but, people, EW.


Zipcode said...

I have to agree with you on this one.

My major complaint of the restaurant industry is the lack of serving good vodka: Grey Goose Orange and Svedka Clementine - WTF - do I need to carry my own vodka with me?

f.B said...

In Bergenfield, New Jersey on the corner of Washington Avenue and New Bridge road, there's a diner: Matthew's Colonial Diner. There's a server, as kids we called her "Olga" though we admittedly never actually knew what her name was (but I digress). Under Olga's nails was the kind, level, and volume of dirt that only a bare-handed gravedigger could amass. She, too, chose the wedge-the-butt check stashing method. We never asked why about either. Good pancakes are good pancakes.

LiLu said...

Agreed re: server books in the back of pants. That's what our aprons are for. Also, as a bartender, it drove me crazy when co-bartenders put a bar towel in the back of their pants, hanging down. And then just sweep it out to wipe off the area where people are, ya know, eating and drinking. GROSS.

Lemmonex said...

You should see whats going on in the kitchen...the bill fold is the least of your worries.

LBluca77 said...

So true, it is gross when they put it down the back of their pants.

I only like to put things down the front of mine.

rs27 said...

YEah but it doesn't go in their underwear so you should be all good.

Well maybe it does. Um, yeah.

Dingo said...

Ew! I've never seen the bill thingy in the back of the pants. I think that would give me pause about my dinner...a brief pause and then I would block the image from my mind as I ate my steak.

Narm said...

This is tough because I hate gross things but love sticking things down my pants.

I'm going to sit this one out.

Gilahi said...

Reminds me of an old joke. A man sees a fry cook put a hamburger patty under her arm before tossing it on the griddle. He calls over his waiter.

"That cook just put my hamburger under her arm!"

"Yes, that's how she thaws them before she cooks them."

"That's disgusting!"

"You should see her thaw a hot dog."

wc#3 said...

Why would anyone spend $10+++ on a meal seasoned with someone else's cudies... yech. And then they expect a tip?

God I'm glad I'm too poor to eat out.

Bilbo said...

And then there's the joke about the man who complained to the waiter because the waiter had his thumb sticking deep into a bowl of soup. The waiter explained that he did this because his hands were cold.

"Idiot!" shouted the customer, "Stick it up your a**!"

"That's what I do when nobody orders the soup!"

Mike said...

If you run across something that's a little to chewy in the salad, try not to think where it came from.

Reya Mellicker said...

Ewwww! Did you eat what she served you?

As an ex-waitron I can tell you that a leather bill-holder put down the back of one's trousers is nothing in terms of how unsanitary restaurants are. You would not believe what goes on in the kitchen, not to mention the bus stations, refrigerators, dishwashing areas and ...

You like going out to dinner right? Never mind!!

Kate said...

This would be why I don't eat out much.

lacochran said...

Zipcode: Svedka Clementine? Ooo, that does sound tasty.

f.B: "Good pancakes are good pancakes." I can't argue with that.

Lilu: Very gross.

Lemmonex/Reya: I shouldn't see what's going on in the kitchen. I have a feeling I'd never go out again.

Lbluca77/Narm: Lbluca77, this is Narm. Narm, this is Lbluca 77.

Rs27: Um, yeah. See, we've all seen this. WHY is this acceptable behavior? Well, everybody but Dingo.

Dingo: Consider yourself lucky.

Gilahi/Bilbo: Nyuck!Nyuck!Nyuck!

Wc#3: Why indeed.

Mike: I have found a bandaid in a salad. Ew.

Kate: But I love to go out to eat... Happily there are enough restaurants that let me live with my illusions of cleanliness.