25 November 2008

"I got more than I could ask for" -- Grand Funk Railroad

You'll probably think less of me (what else is new?) but I hate this time of year. I mean I really hate it.

Yes, I'm thankful. I have a lush life. And I know it's nothing to take for granted. And I have you. Amazing you! It's pretty damn great and I don't mean to underplay it.

And yet... of all the times of the year, this is the worst for me. The light is fading and the temperature is dropping (it's already in the 30s.) And if it's not gonna snow a foot such that work closes for the day and I can stay home, guilt-free, and do, oh, 15 minutes of cross country skiing and spend the rest of the day curled up in front of the fire, what's the point? If I've got to scrape the ice off my windshield and trudge through the bitter cold to earn my living, what's the freakin' point?*

And this is also the time of year when we slog through department stores, online bazaars and catalogues.

Me: *pointing to a Horton* Horton! You think [loved one] would like a Horton?

Him: Would you?

Me: Um, yeah. I think I would.

Him: Okay, get it.

Me: No, it's complete and utter crap.

Him: *pointing* Here's a marshmallow bazooka. It actually fires marshmallows. You think [same loved one] would like that?

Me: I do.

Him: Really?

Me: Yes, but I fear for the dog.

Him: Poor dog.

Me: Poor, poor dog.

And so we continue wandering aimlessly through the nightmare that is holiday gift giving, examining and discarding various items, waiting for inspiration to strike for gifts for loved ones who we should know better than we do. And we buy extra presents for the dog. Poor dog.

It leaves me feeling a little like this:

except with less attractive markings.

This is decidedly different from most of the year when I feel like this:

Oh, sure. When the cat does it, it's cute. When I do it, I have "anger issues."


So, um, I guess this is my lurvly way of saying Happy Thanksgiving.

Wishing you and yours blah-de-blah-blah-blah.

PS Go look at Sean's adorable kitten and remember all that is good in the world.

* Don't just sit there, answer me when I ask you rhetorical questions. [Said a la Napoleon Dynamite:] God!


Herb of DC said...

WOW! You are right! What's with all these cat posts across the web this week? I thought I was being so original, oh well, at least I have the only cat post ending with the cat going to the big litterbox in the sky.

Lemmonex said...

The cats ARE everywhere this week. While I love Rumba Kitty, I prefer this:


Good luck survivin'.

Anonymous said...

Thanksgiving is all about eating and having fun... oh yeah, and being thankful too I guess.

f.B said...

the second video: amazing. just did that myself on Saturday, and i'm usually a very pro-gadget kinda guy

your rhetorical question: not worth it in the slightest. cavepeoples invented shelters to shelter them from the storms, including the pseudo-wintry ones. i am not dumber than a caveperson and therefore find it silly that we are supposed to see sloppy weather and leave our shelters anyway in order to survive. i find no honor in such "challenges"

D.C. Confidential said...

Answering your rhetorical question, as per your demand, er, request: There is no point to it. That is the existential lie of the ages. We've been lulled into believing that our lives have meaning because we scrap ice off our windshields, trudge through traffic, and go to work. What bupkus. (How do you spell that, by the way? And now aren't you wishing you hadn't demanded an answer to your rhetorical question? Be careful what you ask for. If I'm around, you'll probably get it. I'm reliable that way. Or rude, depending on your perspective.)

Happy blah-blah-blah to you, too!

fiona said...

Kitty 1. -Think positive, at least the electric shopping carts in stores have cup holders!

Kitty 2. - I'm thinking you've been waving your wand again? "Expecto Patronum".

STUFF that Turkey darlin, great stress relief!

Bilbo said...

Well, crummy cold weather is here, like it or not. Allow me, as one of your favorite (?) turkeys, to wish you a happy Thanksgiving. And as Fiona says, stuff that bird for maximum stress relief.

LBluca77 said...

I just added marshmallow bazooka to my Christmas list. Feel free to also buy it for me. You can never have to many marshmallow bazookas.

rs27 said...

marshmallow bazooka? I'll take 3.

LiLu said...

Agreed re: marshmallow bazooka. Where do I sign up, please?

Mike said...

You and me. Let's go hide out somewhere until March 1st.

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry to hear about your seasonal blues-- but on the plus side, there are no mosquitoes! Also, you can get one of those jars of sunshine to cheer yourself up! (I'll find the link)

Lisa said...

I generally dislike Thanksgiving and I hate winter. I feel you.

Sean said...

Thanks for the link. My life has really is all about the new kitten right now. Just for the record, I did not buy a special drinking fountain.

Kate said...

I don't like the holiday season. At. All. I would like to go into a coma and wake up in February.

That is all.

Doug said...

I thought I was going to die laughing at that 2nd cat video. Oy. I have tears. I swear I do that to my work printer every f'n day.

Have a great Thanksgiving! I hope you buy a marshmallow bazooka - everyone needs one!

Reya Mellicker said...

What are you talking about? Your markings are every bit as beautiful as that cat's.

Cute cat vids ... is so right for the holidaze!!

Thankful for you. May the force be with you and me and all the other secret holiday haters out there.

zandria said...

I'm feeling you. I have a lot to be grateful for, but I hate cold weather, snow, and holiday shopping. :)

Malnurtured Snay said...

I love the holiday season, but I hate the commercialization. A guy got crushed to death at a Walmart in NY. WTF. People suck.

Matt said...

I feel the same way about the holidays as you do!!

lacochran said...

Herb of DC: Yours was a very nice tribute.

Lemmonex: Yeah, not sure what the whole catocity thing was about. It seems to have subsided.

Briankainec: I hope yours was.

f.B: We can learn a lot from cavepeople. Just maybe not the Geico ones.

D.C. Confidential: I'd go with "bupkis" but I got your meaning. Not sorry at all--I enjoy your answers. :)

Fiona: I don't eat the bird so I don't stuff it. But thanks for the thought.

Bilbo: Thanks. I hope yours was good.

LBluca77, Rs27, Lilu: Noted. Looks like there may be a rush. No trampling, please. (Too soon?)

Mike: Deal. Someplace sunny and warm.

MadamMeow: I'm intrigued.

Lisa: Yeah, it's over-hyped and overrated.

Sean: Oh, but you will.

Kate, Zandria, Matt: Come with Mike and me. We're headed someplace tropical. If we get a large enough group we can negotiate cheap rates.

Doug: I had the same reaction the first three times I saw it. Glad to provide a laugh.

Reya Mellicker: Thankful for you!

Malnurtured Snay: Yeah, it's insane.