05 January 2010

"And they called it puppy love" --Donny Osmond

[Oh, to be as cool as these guys.]

When I was a kid, I had a friend who was into Donny Osmond. I mean INTO. I would go over to her house and she would regale me with fantasies about Donny Osmond. They were pretty PG as fantasies go... He'd get her fan letter and show up at her door and she'd just DIE! And then he'd come in and hold her hand and instantly fall in love with her and she'd just DIE! And he'd smile that famous smile and ask her to marry him and she'd DIE!!! SHE'D JUST DIE!!!!

I was not into Donny Osmond. Too clean cut. Too meh. Donny was no David "I'll let you touch my Puka shells" Cassidy. He was no Parker "I'll solve your mystery" Stevenson. And, for the record, Donny is a little bit rock and roll like I'm a little bit Playboy bunny.* Yeah, not so much.

But, I didn't mock my friend. I can't remember a time when I didn't crush on some TV or movie fella. But, I've never had a desire to meet them. Oh, maybe I fantasized a bit but I couldn't imagine a scenario where actually meeting an idol would be a good thing.

First, I'd sound like an idiot. What could I say that they hadn't heard a million times before? Even if we did start a real conversation, they could tell me about Hollywood and I could tell them about Martin in Social Studies who kept kicking my chair. Smooooooooth.

Second, the instant I met them, they'd stop being an idol and start being a real live (boring) human being. No thanks. Even reading interviews in magazines killed off a few idols for me. Did I need to know that Patrick Swayze thought Johnny Castle's saying "Nobody puts Baby in a corner" was stupid? No, I did not. Did I need to know that Harrison Ford enjoyed the company of both Anne "Manson Eyes" Heche and Calista "I'm shaped like an all-day sucker" Flockhart? Again, no.**

Which leads to the question du jour: Would you actually want to meet someone you idolized?

* I get that the Bunny outfits were skimpy for the time, but what's sexy about a bunny? Is it the tameness? The fur? Is this how Furries started?

** Please don't tell me anything bad about Bradley Cooper. I'm begging you.


The Madien Metallurgist said...

No way! I like my celebrities on a pedestal thank you very much.

froggy said...

The Monkees, Peter Tork, le sigh...
And, hell no!, I wouldn't want to meet any crushable male!

Liebchen said...

Funny, I had a dream about Bradley Cooper just last night...

But no, I don't think I'd want to meet an idol. Plus, I'm just not sure I could keep the drooling under control.

Ibid said...

I get what you're saying. Knowing that fanboy/girl freakouts are a problem makes them easier to avoid.

I spent a couple of hours in a bar with the cast of Star Trek: Voyager and didn't approach them because I wanted to just let them be people for awhile.

I got to spend 15 minutes or so chatting with GB Trudeau (Doonesbury creator) which went pretty well.

I'd like to have spent more time with Larry Niven, but there was a line.

I'd have liked to have spent dinner with Isaac Asimov.

I'd love to have a class with Sir Stephen Hawking. Have him roll over one of his books or something.

I'd like to have dinner with Sir (pending) Patrick Stewart, David Tennant, or Joss Whedon.

Why, yes, I am a geek. Why do you ask?

spleeness said...

YES: Mike Rowe from Dirty Jobs. He's the only one, actually. Because most celebs play a role but he gets to be his cute self right on film. I mean, I know he's got his "stage" personality switched on in front of the camera, but he seems very funny and real.

Laughing at Martin kicking your seat. He must have been Patrick from my class's brother...

charlotteharris said...

ooooh bradley cooper - i watched all about steve just for him!

Kate said...

I would never say no to meeting Dolly Parton, that's fo shizzle. But in terms of meeting famous cute boys? I think I'll pass. They're never as cute once you know them. It's funny, my husband's old roommates have a band that is doing really well right now, touring nationally and internationally and all that. They have girls falling all over them. The only band member I find even remotely attractive is the one I've never spoken to. Also? Every rock dude I've ever met has been a glorified band geek. True story.

Toe said...

I once saw Christopher Titus buying sand at the hardware store and said hi. He isn't an uber celebrity but he was nice. But if I met Robert Pattison at the Dairy Queen I might JUST DIE!

Hannah said...

When I was a kid, all the girls were in love with "New Kids on the Block" and then when I was in junior-high school, they all went nuts for "Backstreet Boys".
Personally, I thought both groups were boring, clich├ęd and interchangeable. Guys who were in ACTUAL rock bands and actually wrote their own songs and played instruments were the ones who I liked.

But no I don't think I would want to meet someone who I had/have a crush on pretty much for the exact same reasons you mentioned. (Plus, I met a few of these guys in semi-famous rock bands and most of them were douches)

I would love to meet people who I respect and admire on a platonic level though.:)

Ibid said...

Danny Glover? We brought him to campus in college. Total prima donna bastard. Didn't want to know that.

The kinds of people I listed as wanting to meet are people who already have a reputation as being easy going and either fanboys themselves or adoring of their fans.

restaurant refugee said...

I would place the odds at 6 to 5 and pick em' that any of the famous people on my list would be extremely disappointing in real life. Those aren't odds that I really want to take as regards most of the people on that list.

Though if a certain Mrs. Hayak ever becomes single again, I would take those odds and even worse ones too.

LiLu said...

No. Because Don Draper would be COMPLETELY ruined for me if I ever met John Hamm.

Mike said...

No way. Just seeing some of them on talk shows has busted a few bubbles for me.

Masala Chica said...

Hmmm. at first glance I would say yes. But then I would be such a nervous wreck getting ready to meet them that I would have to say no. Just because of the amount of nerves and anxiety. because I would not be cute and bubbly. I'd clam up and become a robot.

BUT if I were:
it would be Bruce Springsteen, Bono, Melissa Etheridge, and maybe Ricky Gervaise.

Barbara said...

Most of the allure of idolizing someone is knowing you'll never have to talk to him/her. Much more fun to love from a distance!

Tina said...

I swoon for Trace Adkins and I did meet him once. He was just as georgous, flirted in a sweet southern gentlemen kind of way, and he semlled delish! (wish I could find the name of that cologne!!)

But I think that was kind of an exception to the rule - for the most part I think you are right - crushes are better kept in fantasy land where they belong.

Oh - I do think Joss Whedon would be great to hang with but I don't have a crush on him - he just has such a creative mind.

Mac and Cheese said...

I was always hoping to meet my idols. I was so disapointed when Ricky Schroeder never replied to me, even after I sent him a pic of my 11 year old self in a bathing suit. Sigh.

Bilbo said...

I think that would be a fascinating thing. I did a blog post a few years ago about Ultimate Dinner Parties, to which you could invite the people you most wanted to meet and talk to, living or dead, real or imaginary. Got some very interesting responses. I may need to dust off that concept and try it again for 2010.

vw: pregg - what came before the prchicken.

The Chauffeur said...

i don't think i'm going to be meeting ms. bellucci anytime soon*, so i guess the question is moot...

*or so the restraining order stipulates, anyway

Reya Mellicker said...

Worse than being a boring human, some of them turn out to be raging assholes - even worse.

I've met some celebrities, not on purpose and was inevitably disappointed every time except when I met William Wegman who did a talk about his painting when I lived in SF. He was such a GREAT, nice, sweet man. I was so grateful that when I met him I told him how nice it is when celebs aren't jerks. He gave me a nice hug. What a doll.

I met John Cusack last year at an inauguration party, but it was only for 30 seconds and I was flummoxed so I can't really tell you anything about him. Seemed nice.

J.M. Tewkesbury said...

Who's Brian Cooper?

I've met Kelly Carpenter O'Donnell. She's a lovely person, but just like the rest of us. Puts her pants on one leg at a time.

Oliveira said...

I am already disillusioned after reading what Enya had to say on her new very best of CD cover. If I met her I might discover that she doesn't actually spend the entire day swaying around her castle in her floaty frocks and that would kill me.

Maya said...

Most likely not in most cases. Though there are a few people I'd love to have a "normal" conversation with. Would that really happen though? Most likley not.

And what is up with furries? I don't get it. Did you see that CSI episode with them? Crazy!

lacochran said...

The Maiden Metallurgist, froggy, LiLu, Mike, Masala Chica, Barbara: Thanks for weighing in.

Liebchen: A fellow drooler! :) So, you're going to blog about the dream, right?

Ibid: No reason. No reason at all.

spleeness: There's one in every class, isn't there...

charlotteharris: Quite the cutiepie. :)

Kate: Band geeks can be hot.

Toe: OMG! Don't DIE!

Hannah: Interesting nuance. Thanks.

Ibid Redux: I had no idea about Danny Glover.

restaurant refugee: What does one say to Salma? You know, that would work?

Tina: Glad Trace is cool.

Mac and Cheese: How could he not??

Bilbo: To paraphrase NBC, "if your readers haven't seen it, it's new to them!"

The Chauffeur: She saucy, isn't she...

Reya Mellicker: Ooo, John Cusack. Glad to hear he still seems nice.

J. M. Tewkesbury: No idea. Bradley's cousin?

Oliveira: How could she not??

Maya: I didn't. And I don't get it either!

Maxie said...

I'd love to meet mark paul gossellar as long as he didn't turn out to be an asshole. He's just soooo dreamy.