21 January 2010

"Put the lime in the coconut, drink 'em both up" --Harry Nilsson

I got zapped with something nasty Tuesday night and I've been down for the count since. But, it hasn't all been bad...

Top Five Reasons It's Good to Be Sick

5) Have genuine excuse to work my "pathetic" look.

4) Able to cite impressive fever stats to boss instead of more common and suspicious "not feeling so good" reason for not reporting to work.

3) The Golden Girls.

2) Can use exciting terms like "surprising" and "dramatic" when talking about bodily functions.

1) Able to lose three pounds in one day.*

Question du jour: Does being sick give you the right to expect pampering? *insert pathetic look here*

* Amazing what frequent trips to the bathroom, fever sweats and lack of appetite will do. I am single-handedly redefining the term "Biggest Loser success story." So exciting! If people are willing to inject botulism into their foreheads, surely they'll ingest it to slim right down. You heard it here first.**

** This could also lead to the reopening of several DC restaurants.


Narm said...

#6 - drug use is not only accepted, but encouraged.

Titania said...

Can we add the word "explosive" to (2)?

And, OF COURSE, what is the point of being sick otherwise? (although, since I live alone, I am kinda screwed, the only pampering I get is a couple of puppies staring at me with loving eyes, which is pretty good anyways)

Feeling better? Hope so... Hugs

The Bug said...

I think I want to be left alone, but then I want someone to bring me something to drink or fix me some dry toast. I am a DIFFICULT patient. And a terrible nurse. My poor husband.

I had a "discussion" at work about my absences this past year. She was claiming that I could have taken care of some banking business on my "sick" days (like the day I had surgery on my shoulder). I actually ran a report to show how often I had been out - there are only 2 days that I didn't request time in advance for some reason or other. So there!

Masala Chica said...

Being sick earns you the right to act entitled, put out, and certainly pampered. You''re not going through night sweats and Golden Girls episodes for nothing. Sheesh.

P.S. - I hope you feel better soon. . . :-)

Kate said...


That is all.

Drama Queen said...

What Kate said.

Mike said...

Reading #3 made my privates react like a cold swimming pool does.

Tina said...

If you like what botulism does for your figure you should try giardia!! But you will definately have to add Explosive to the list.

Tina said...

If you like what botulism does for your figure you should try giardia!! But you will definately have to add Explosive to the list.

Cyndy said...

You can say that again! I don't know what's wrong with me (other than exhaustion) but I've been acting like such a troll on your blog lately. I'll try to come up with something useful to say next time. And I hope you feel better soon!

Liebchen said...

Way to look on the bright side?

Feel better soon!

Bowie Mike said...


Hope you feel better and get the pampering that you deserve.

repliderium.com said...

The whole damn point of being sick is to get pampered! Otherwise, we'd all be throwing ourselves off of bridges when the flu hits!

Lemon Gloria said...

I always appreciate the weight loss aspect of illness. However, I also want to be left alone to die in peace. No pampering. Bring me water and juice and leave me alone. But if you want to be pampered, sure, why not? You're feeble and deserving!

Pauline said...

Yes! You need pampering in order to get better! Of course some may demand more pampering then others, but hey those back rubs and bon bons really helped chase away my flu last time I was sick! ;)

Mac and Cheese said...

You must have caught it from my blog. Embracing the weight loss over here too!

Barbara said...

I have come to accept the fact that I must take care of myself when I am sick. I am sick in fact. I just started a batch of chicken soup.

I'm not sure I would know what pampering was if it happened to me.

Feel better soon, or whenever you are ready to go back to work, whichever comes first!

Tinksfairy said...

Illness might help you lose weight, but personally I'd recommend wisdom tooth extraction as an alternative.

If you still have your wisdom teeth, see if your insurance company will see the need for you to give them a proper sendoff. When I had mine out, I was on the obligatory liquid diet for a week and I lost something like 5 pounds. Just to clarify: I lost 5 pounds, and pudding was a MAJOR food group that week. The pudding diet!

Anyway, hope you feel much better!

Alice said...

i hope you're feeling better by this point!! and that you fully indulged in whatever coddling you could get, for sure :-) you deserve it when you're sick!!

lacochran said...

Narm: Excellent add.

Titania: Oh, we can and we should! Well played.

The Bug: Wow. She sounds like a piece of work.

Masala Chica, Liebchen, Bowie Mike, Alice: Thanks. All better now.

Kate: Thank you. That is all you need say.

Drama Queen: She is wise.

Mike: TMI!

Tina: Ooo, we could market a whole line of diet "supplements"!

Cyndy: You have? I had no idea! Whatever you want to contribute I'm thankful for.

repliderium.com: What you said.

Lemon Gloria: "Feeble and deserving" -- I need to put that on my business card.

Pauline: I was pampered and I'm fine now so, there ya go!

Mac and Cheese: Hope you're feeling better. Congrats on the weight loss. :)

Barbara: You don't get it if you don't demand it. Hope you're feeling better by now.

Tinksfairy: Sadly, mine are already gone. Mmmm, pudding.

GreenCanary said...

HEY! I totally commented on this post yesterday and it DIDN'T SHOW UP! What's the deal?!!

My comment was this: "3 pounds in one day? Come here. I want to lick you."

lacochran said...

GreenCanary: No idea. I don't censor anything but spam so thanks for making sure your comment got through one way or another. :)