19 January 2010

"And you want to do it right because you like to do it right" --Jane Siberry


Since I ratted out an old office-mate in the last post, I'll divulge something strange about myself in a blatant karma re-balancing attempt. When I was a kid, I would eat my food one item at a time. Nobody taught me this. I just did it.

So maybe I'd start with the corn (*said in Turtle Boy voice*: I like corn!) and I'd eat all the corn on my plate before moving on to the turkey burger and eating as much turkey burger as I wanted and then I'd eat the green beans. I tended to eat in the order of preference. I don't know why I ate serially. It just felt better to me.

As I moved into adulthood, I came to realize something: people stare at you when you eat like this.

So, I stopped doing this. Sometimes I'm so aware of this that if I'm eating a melange of food--say a fruit salad, I'll try to eat the components in a balanced way such that I don't have only one type of fruit left as I near the end.

That's much better, right?

Right?

Oh.

I don't freak out if my food touches but I will say I'm happier if it doesn't. I sometimes pick up salad at a grocery store salad bar for lunch. I always pick the containers with the dividers. On one of these trips, I had my green salad in the main compartment and cottage cheese in another compartment and fruit in the third compartment. I got up to the register and placed the clear, sealed container on the belt. It got up to the cashier. She weighed it, picked it up, looked at it and shook it violently. Let me restate, she SHOOK IT VIOLENTLY. Who knows, maybe it was too neat for her. She didn't say. She, then, put it in the plastic bag and announced my total. A field of red came down in front of my eyes. I was so mad I was speechless. She was oblivious.


Questions du jour: Do any of you eat your food serially? Is this a sign of genius?*



* It just makes sense that it would be, right? Right? Oh.

30 comments:

Kate said...

What? Who on earth shakes your food? I would have thrown it at her. FOod must not touch. Ever.

And you quoted Jane Siberry. Sigh. I love her.

The Bug said...

I'm my father's daughter, so I prefer to have a bite of each thing on my fork at the same time. Food just isn't as interesting if it's not all mixed together.

But I still would have been mad if the person shook my salad - I do NOT like soggy lettuce, so I always pack the wet ingredients separate from the dry ones...

HKW said...

Skittles. In the order of preference. And no, the colors do not taste the same. To me. I don't like food to touch. Even gravy - on the side, please. I would have been angry at the salad bar cashier too.

Liebchen said...

I was telling a friend just the other day that my weirdest eating habit comes with M&Ms. I'll take a handful, and then eat them according to color quantity. So...if there were 1 yellow, 2 oranges, 4 greens, and 5 blues, I'd eat them in that order.

Oh, and SHAME on her for shaking your salad. Doesn't she know that there's a method to the madness?

Drama Queen said...

It's definitely a sign of genius, as I do it, too. Everyone knows there certain ways to eat foods - like a HoHo, you must peel the chocolate off first and then unwrap it the roll of cake. To eat an Oreo, you must break it apart, then lick the icing, and eat the crunchy cookie last.

I NEVER let my food touch - and I'm 47 years old. If people want to stare - bring it on. :)

And I would have shaken that cashier violently if she'd done that to my food. Seriously.

Bowie Mike said...

When I was very young, I used to eat the thing I liked the least first - to get them out of the way. I also tended to mix a lot. Lima beans mixed with mashed potatoes was easier to take then lima beans by themselves. These days, I find myself doing what Bug does - a bit of everything on the fork at once.

I picked up one of those ready-made shrimp platters from Giant over the holidays. The UPC label was on the top. The cashier turned the whole platter upside down to scan it! I couldn't believe it!

brad said...

I absolutely eat things separately sometimes, especially if one thing is much tastier than another. I'll get rid of the lesser quickly and save the best for last.

Rahree said...

I eat my m&ms in the exact OPPOSITE order as Liebchen...from most to least.

Everything else is fair game, though. Although I'd be quite pissed about the shaking, too.

Masala Chica said...

I am the exact OPPOSITE of you. I mix everything together as much as possible. Like - Indian food - I will mix everything up - not take a bite till its all mixed in to one homogeneous glob and only THEN will I eat it. When I get a burrito it irks me when the rice and the beans and the salsa and whatnot are not "blended" well.

so take THAT la cochran!
Kiran

Tina said...

Apparently there are a bunch of people out there that do not understand the rules for M&M consumption. Yes they must be sorted by color - duh- but you cannot simply eat them in an order based on quantity. You have to consider the colors and the season. For example - you MUST NOT eat red M&M's immediately following Green or vice versa - unless it is December - then it is ok. Likewise Brown and Orange must not follow / preceed one another unless it is October or November. Blue can be eaten before or after red or yellow or green but never before or after brown or orange or tan regardless of season. There is more but honestly- why should I even bother to try and outline them - people never listen!!

Cyndy said...

Okay, I'm pretty much strictly a peanut M&M person but I do agree with the color sorting. I get rid of all the orange and brown ones first, then the reds. I like looking at the blue, green, and yellow combination because it's pretty, so I eat one of each color until they're all gone.

At the movies, since it is dark, I PRETEND that the colors don't matter and just take two and put one on each side of my mouth and wait for the shell to dissolve. Then I roll them around until the chocolate melts off and then I eat the two peanuts.

So you can probably imagine that I would also be a food separater. And you would be right.

Alex said...

I still eat food serially... in fact, until I read your blog it had never occurred to me that there might be anything odd about that.

As for the food shaking, that is inexplicable... the only theory I can come up with is she was trying to help you by ensuring the dressing got evenly distributed on the salad?

Pauline said...

I don't eat food serially, but certain groups MUST be separated.
Yes, I know they all go down the same way, but its gross when food groups blend into each other!

FoggyDew said...

I don't know about food sorting, but I was talking to someone recently about how it wasn't until I was an adult and living on my own I learned to eat slowly. Growing up in a house with five kids made meals a Darwinian battle: only the fittest survived, and by survived I mean got seconds, which meant finishing first. This habit was later reinforced by my drill instructors at Parris Island who generally liked us to finish our meals as quickly as possible. Ever wrapped an entire meal in bread and ate it in four bites? I have.

Oh, and M&Ms get eaten in this order: brown, yellow, red, orange, blue and, finally, green.

Barbara said...

I much prefer to eat my food one item at a time. It's usually my order of preference. I also eat my corn one row at a time; how about you? And I don't give a damn what anyone says about any of this, even though they do often notice.

LBluca77 said...

This reminds me of the Everybody Loves Raymond episode when they all discover the older brother has to touch his food to his chin before eating it.

Probably the weirdest thing I do with my food is, I eat so fast and get so excited I end up biting my fingers sometimes.

Mike said...

Serial eater - absolutly.

OTHER PERSON - Why are you just eating your corn. Why don't you try the meat.

ME - Why, is there something wrong with the corn? Do you know something I don't?

Cyndy said...

I'm a cereal eater - absolutely.
Sorry, couldn't resist.

Tina said...

Foggy - so close but orange then blue - Really? Really? (Shaking head sadly)

Little Ms Blogger said...

Yes I do.

I will also go one step further. I take the cheese off my pizza slice and put parmesan cheese on both the crust and the cheese on the plate and eat the crust first.

I had been doing this for years and only one person noticed.

Thanksgiving is the day I mix foods to create the perfect bite.

Herb of DC said...

I do not like my food to touch itself. Or something like that.
The result of this is I often have to have two or three plates of food per meal in order to equal the amount a food mixer has on one plate. Yes thats the reason, really!

Dmbosstone said...

I tend to eat french fries last and sometimes I'll try and eat items at a rate where I finish with my favorite food of the meal.

carissajaded said...

I can't stand when my food touches!! Unless its with ketchup. I woulda popped that lady!!

Lemon Gloria said...

I would shake up my own salad, but I'd never shake someone else's. Weird weird weird behavior.

spleeness said...

I absolutely love that cartoon. YES, I do this same exact thing! Except I still do it, weird looks and all. The only thing I don't mind blending though, is salad. Go figure.

lacochran's evil twin said...

God, you people are weird.

Just kidding.

*hugs*

aimee said...

I eat like cookie monster. So generally, no I am not a serial eater.

Mac and Cheese said...

She shook it??? You should have shaken her violently!

Felisa said...

I've never had a problem with food touching each other and I didn't even realize that some people feel the need to eat serially until... last year I think?

But I'm also kind of weird. I prefer taking one of the buns when I eat a chicken sandwich. Just ONE of the buns. I don't do it for other sandwiches or burgers. Just chicken sandwiches.

Maya said...

It depends on my mood. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. I guess sometimes I'm a genius, sometimes I'm not.