I am pleased when something I write gets picked up by the Washington Post's Express. It's happened four times that I know of. Two of those four times, they've referred to me as a "he" and twice they've missed the point of my post.
So, maybe it's not quite the honor it could be.
I'm not a "he". Shocked? You shouldn't be. Yes, I try to write as universally as I can but I've never tried to pass as a man.
The post they quoted today was about dealing with car salesmen so it's ironic that the WaPo thought I was a man because the salesmen certainly didn't. They didn't even see me as equal to a man, which would have been preferable.
Even though I introduced myself and explained what type of car I was looking for, the salesmen (yes, plural) asked my husband questions about what he wanted in a car. He would smile, point to me, and say "It's her car. I'm just along for the ride."
It isn't that Hubby refused to speak. He'd ask an occasional question and he'd point out things (did you know you can spot if a car has been in an accident if you look under the hood and check for over-spraying? He's way clever about all kinds of things!) and he's a whiz with the numbers, where I am not.
That said, I did the research. I developed a going in position. I determined the final cost I wanted to pay. I laid out what I wanted to the salesmen. I spoke for myself at every turn. I negotiated. I considered the alternatives. I made the decision. I signed the check from my account--not even a shared account.
And, even so, yesterday, we got a thank you letter from the dealer who sold me the car. It was addressed to "Mr. and Mrs. (Hubby's name)".
I ask you, what more could I do to make it clear it was mine?