19 June 2009

"Call me" --Blondie (used liberally in the movie)


In the movie, American Gigolo, every set in every scene was designed in colors that made the star, Richard Gere, look good.

Think about that. The carpets, the chairs, the lamps. Everything was in his color scheme to maximize the woof! And, it worked. He looked good. Yes. Yes, he did. Woof!

In fact, the movie is pretty meh. I don't recommend it. But Richard? Very... memorable.

Mind you, this was 1980 and 31-year-old Richard was in his prime. At least I thought so but I didn't realized I was being worked by the drapes and such. People magazine didn't declare him the sexiest man alive until 19 years later. By then, he was a household name. But American Gigolo is what first catapulted him into the national consciousness. This was two years before An Officer and a Gentleman and long before the word "gerbil" got forever linked to his name.*

I think, sometimes, that this is what I need. No, not a gerbil. That's disgusting! No... Someone who's job it is to make me look good in every situation. Someone to find the right clothes and the right backdrops and the right lighting and, as long as we're at it, somebody to write clever lines for me, too.

So, um, get on that, will ya?



* According to IMDb, Richard's middle name is "Tiffany". I kid you not. Maybe he started the gerbil rumors himself to draw attention away from this detail.

17 comments:

Narm said...

But, LA, you already DO look good in every setting.

Narm - the world's greatest kiss-ass.

AbbotOfUnreason said...

Yeah, get the right lighting and drapery and you, too, can look like Richard Gere. I don't think that's really what you're going for.

Matt said...

this idea is pure brilliance.

I'll take the job if you're hiring!

Liebchen said...

From the beginning of this post I thought the same thing - I need someone whose job it is to make me look good. I can't pay much, but how do you put a price on gratitude, anyway?

Mike said...

Wikipedia says Tiffany too.

I'll have to dig out the old gerballing joke from years ago.

Wv: insem - No need to expand on this.

Gilahi said...

I suppose that's why he goes by the formal version of his name. If he had chosen to go with "Dick Gere", he would have had no choice but to be in porno movies. Of course, "Dick Tiffany Gere" could have been the title of his first movie.

f.B said...

To quote the maybe-decent band, 3 Doors Down: "If I could be like that, I would give anything. Just to live one day, in those shoes."

Not a guy who uses gerbils. But the shoes of someone who has a personal cleverness assistant, that is.

Fearless in Toronto said...

I thought everyone had their own personal lighting director and choreographer.

What, it's just me? And Tiffany? errrr...Richard?

repliderium.com said...

Tiffany? What kind of parents do shit like that?

Felisa said...

Do you have the same problem that I have? My bathroom lights are really flattering. I almost want to walk around while holding them just far enough from my face so I can always look good. Unfortunately, walking around while holding a light up to your face is apparently frowned upon by society.

G said...

You do not need props. You are beautiful as is.

Little Ms Blogger said...

I have an easy solution...

Have everyone who may come into contact with you blindfolded so you'll always look good......

and.....

Say one really clever and then never speak again so that the last impression people have of you...

Of course, this could become a problem when you need to say someone to F*off like the car dealer guy...

Barbara said...

Isn't that what we're doing when we "get our colors done" (or did that go out of vogue 20 years ago?) or get a makeover at the Mac counter at Nordstroms? I think we all subconsciously want to maximize our assets. But it would be interesting to see what a pro would do with each of us! :)

Dmbosstone said...

As a video producer what you want is your own Set Dresser, Production Designer, and DP.

Funny thing is, the only awards the movie won was a Golden Globe for best score and best motion picture- no tech awards.

lacochran said...

Narm: If you're going to make it in Hollywood, you'll need to keep that second part inside your head.

AbbotofUnreason: Are we talking the young Richard Gere, or the older, bloated Elvis Richard Gere?

Matt: Sure! Can you write today's post for me while telling me how gorgeous I am?

Liebchen: With a pricing gun?

Mike: Somethings are better left undug.

Gilahi: Oh, who are we kidding? AG pretty much was soft-core porn.

f.B: You're clever. I know. I read your blog.

Fearless in Toronto: Everyone should. They definitely should.

repliderium.com: Cruel ones?

Felisa: I'll hold your light if you hold mine.

G: Awww. Have you been mooning over my profile picture again?

Little Ms Blogger: "That's it for me!" --G. Costanza

Barbara: It's having everyone and everything where "our colors".

Dmbosstone: I have no idea wht a DP is but I want one!

LiLu said...

A couple girlfriends and I may or may not have ended up watching Under the Tuscan Sun this weekend (I am shamed, trust- even more so because I kind of liked it), and among the many things we are eternally jealous of Diane Lane for is the fact that she has had more steamy scenes with him than any other actress, I believe. Luuccckyyyyyyyyy!

LBluca77 said...

That gerbil story still makes me laugh whenever I hear it. Don't know who I feel more sorry for, the gerbil or Richard.