20 July 2009

"Never going back again" --Fleetwood Mac

In our recent travels we passed a Red Lobster and I admitted that I'd never had that particular culinary experience. It didn't bother me, not being in the know. I realized I was a bit rare in this way but, hey, okay, it's not like having an extra nipple.*

But men tend to like "firsts". So, Friday, we went to a Red Lobster. You're judging me, aren't you?

I was pleased with the choice of drinks, the Caesar salad was fresh and Caesary--though it was overdressed, and I was quite impressed with the cheese biscuits:
Seriously. They should change the name of the place to Cheese Biscuits.

Even the service was on point.

What was terrible was the main meal, the very thing they brag about. The seafood ranged from mediocre to down-right nasty. The seafood lover in me? Not loving it, to say the least.

A minor plus: it was reasonably-priced nastiness.

And, if anybody asks if I've been to a Bob Evans, I'm keeping my mouth shut.

* No offense intended to readers afflicted with this condition. Or do you consider yourself "nipple enhanced"? "Nipple enriched"? "Nipple laden"? How many times can I say "nipple" in one footnote?**



Fearless in Toronto said...

I dated a guy who worked at Red Lobster for a year longer than I should have, just to get easy access to those biscuits.

I should be ashamed, but I'm not.

liferehab said...

I love Red Lobster for their cheese biscuits and mashed potatoes. The salmon is okay if you cover it in salt..

repliderium.com said...

Can you go and just order drinks and cheese biscuits?
I would do that in a heart beat.

LiLu said...

I consider it a source of pride that I have never dined inside those four walls.

I wonder if I can order out some of those cheese biscuits, though... sounds like I'm missing out.

Dmbosstone said...

I've eaten at a Bob Evans- good stuff!

Matt said...

Their biscuits are absolute money!!!!!!

Mike said...

How did you jump to the nipple thing in your post? What were you doing while you were typing?

Bradford Pearson said...

Thanks for clearing up the Red Lobster debate for me. Now I never have to go.

Cheese biscuits do sound good though...

Herb of DC said...

I may have eaten a few times at the Lobster but only when I had coupons. Their baked potatoes (crusted in salt) are very good also. Go for the biscuits, stay for the potatoes but avoid most of the seafood.

Lisa said...

I cannot remember the last time I was at a Red Lobster and I don't remember the cheese biscuits. But I think they had good hush puppies?? I love hush puppies.

Barbara said...

I've been to RL a few times, mostly for going away work luncheons for clerical staff. The cheese biscuits are to die for (probably because they are about 1,000 calories and 12 grams of fat each) and I find if I eat enough of them I don't care how bad the rest of the meal is. It's hard to figure out how good seafood can be so bad. But most people who go there seem to love it and they look like it too.

Alex said...

I will never, ever, ever set foot inside a Red Lobster... but that's because of my phobia of crustaceans and other marine-based food, rather than any anti-chain snobbery.

Reya Mellicker said...

Reading this, for some reason made me think of the theme song for "Green Acres." Wonder what that's all about!

Felisa said...

I've only been there once but I do remember that the biscuits were life-changing.

justjp said...

I will starve myself for 3 days before I go there, just for the buscuits!

Bilbo said...

Bob Evans, yes. Red Lobster, hell, no. Go to Joe's Crab Shack instead.

LBluca77 said...

Now I know where i am going for dinner tonight.

lacochran said...

Fearless in Toronto: A lot of relationships seem to be built on easy access.

liferehab, Herb of DC: Wish I'd checked with you before I ordered.

repliderium.com, LiLu: Since the biscuits are gratis with dinner, I'm thinking not, but I dunno. Certainly makes more sense than ordering the shrimp platter.

Dmbosstone: Noted. And, still, gotta go with, No.

Matt, Felisa, justjp: I was amazed!

Mike: You realize you're the only one that mentioned nipple in your comment? What were you doing when you typed that?

Bradford Pearson: Remarkably light, with just a hint of cheese on top. Delicious!

Lisa: No idea if they do or not. They gave us what seemed like 22 different menus at once so I may have missed the hushpuppies.

Barbara: It's kind of like Cinnabon, you know it can't be good for you but... oh, god, that's good.

Alex: *scribbles note* Cancel Lobstergram for Alex's birthday.

Reya Mellicker: I've no flippin' clue!

Bilbo: I've been to Joe's (as long as I'm laying out all my horrible chain visits) and I have not been awed.

LBluca77: It's like we're of one mind.