25 March 2009

"So live your life, ay, ay, ay" --Rihanna and TI

When you are on an airplane and the child in the seat behind you is shrieking for the joy of shrieking every few minutes and kicking your seat non-stop, what is the correct response?

A) Nothing
B) Request a seat change
C) Announce loudly "Hey! Why is my seat vibrating?"
D) Turn and glare at the child
E) Turn and glare at the parent
F) Say something to the child
G) Say something to the parent
H) Slam your seat into the "reclining" position and throw your arms over your head to further make your presence known
I) Throw peanuts up over your head in an attempt to hit the child and/or parent
J) Other
K) All of the above

I ask because I have had conversations with parents who have had very different responses to this question. So, I put this to you, Gentle Reader. What is the right response?


Narm said...

I can't think of a comment that doesn't involve the Mile High Club so I am going to sit this one out.

Liebchen said...

I am not a parent, but...I'd go a, d, e, f, g, then j. I don't know what j is yet, though. Depends on how annoying the child is. Some kids just have it coming.

Fearless in Toronto said...

I usually feel badly for any kid who is dragged onto a plane, so I'm pretty tolerant. Kids being kids, and all. If it's unbearable or rude, I always blame the parent.

My strategy would be (g) then (b). Although (b) usually becomes less of an option the longer you're on the flight, especially if it's full.

Herb of DC said...

I would advise others to do B-K but the truth is I would just do A. I'm a wimp.

Shannon said...

G, probably. I can deal with screeching and such, but seat kicking drives me completely mad. I can't stand being jostled. And maybe I, if I thought the kid might have a peanut allergy.

Matt said...

I'd punch that little brat in the face. Just one time is all it would take.

*Jac* said...

C.. I am the queen of passive agressive.

AbbotOfUnreason said...

are you allowed to take pepper spray on an airplane these days?

repliderium.com said...

If it's a "kid being a kid" then nothing. If it's a kid being a complete obnoxious jackass then I talk to him/her in a slow kinda creepy voice so the parent can hear. They usually spend the rest of the flight trying to keep the kid away from me. (all else fails, go with Matt's suggestion- stealth punch to the face)

Titania said...

mmmm, when I have been there, I normally start with (D) in such a way that the parent will notice and feel really bad. If that doesn't work, I've gotten then to (G) - I have always thought that telling the child would be useless and that they may think it is a game and start kicking even harder - I don't think I've gotten passed this stage, but if I do I really like Abbot's idea of the pepper spray.

Ibid said...

Start a loud conversation with the person next to you about your cousin that you haven't seen in 3 years because he's considerate enough of others that he won't take his kid on an airplane until it can speak in whole sentences.

Kate said...

Um. Because I'm a bleeding heart, I'd offer to take the kid. Maybe mom or dad needs a break. And if they say no, then say, "Well then I'd like for you to help him not scream and kick my seat." Why not just be upfront and pleasant. No need for passive aggressive stuff.
Holy. I think those years of therapy are paying off right now.

Kristin said...

I'm kind of "do nothing" kind of girl in that situation or I have been. I've even been the kind of girl to tell the parents that it's OK but only if they acknowledge the kicking.

fiona said...

I have 3 "darlings" and have had all three on 12hr flights. It's the parents to blame.
Punch or pepper spray mom or dad or both if your up to it!

D.C. Confidential / Janet Kincaid said...

I always say something to the child and the parents. Well, okay, I don't. Always. But occasionally.

What I really want to do is grab the parent and their kid, haul their asses to the lavatory at the rear of the plane, throw them in it, and lock it and barricade. I envision myself returning to my seat in Chariots-of-Fire slow motion glory to the cheers of my seatmates.

In truth, I'd probably be arrested.

I'm so tired of people not teaching their children proper public behavior and boundaries. So tired.

lacochran said...

Thanks to all who weighed in, including the Express (h/t to Sean) who implied I was a man. *rolls eyes*

Hubby did a combination of A, C, D & E while I did A, D, E, and H. None of our approaches were effective with the TWO hellions behind us or there bemused mother. I definitely like your ideas better.

...love Maegan said...

possibly K.

I would start out with A ...but get fed up quick ..lol.

AbbotOfUnreason said...

another suggestion