03 February 2009

"Some girl to thrill me and then go away"--John Mellencamp

[A different way to a simple relationship.]

Do you have people in your life that are there for one specific reason and nothing else? No, not a booty call. Well, maybe for some of you, that's what it is.

Here's what I mean... I know someone at work that I have nothing in common with except one very specific thing: we both like to travel. So, when we cross paths a couple times a year, we pounce on each other with "Where were you last?" or "Where are you thinking of going next?" Immediately animated, we share pros and cons of a particular island, share what we've heard about different resort chains, swap information on new booking sites, etc.

And then we talk about nothing else. Nothing. We go about our lives.

We've established that this is our only common ground. We accept that we'll never swap recipes or get tattoos together. We're certainly not going to travel together.

And that works. Remarkably well. Ours is sort of the idiot savant of relationships. One dimension deep. And deeply one dimensional. It's so refreshing!


Jamie said...

Do drinking buddies count?

Erin said...

Thanks for reposting!

I like this idea; I have some "hobbie buddies"(cluck buddies? Can't find a good rhyme!)but hadn't thought of it that way before.

It happens all the time with kids. You ask about each other's families, and then the crickets start chirping.

Sometimes it's best to leave things that way. Remember what happened when Carrie tried to date her friend!

Lemmonex said...

Oh, for sure. I have a friend who has struggled with ehr weight a lot--and that is really all we have in common. it is helpful to have someone who "gets it".

Also, there are all kinds of friends: the hand holders, the straight talkers, the shopping buddies...

Narm said...

Don't lie - they are also your booty call.

f.B said...

yep yep. i think i live life in different pieces matched with different people.

LiLu said...

I definitely have different kinds of friends who serve different purposes. Sometimes you need to laugh, sometimes you need to talk, sometimes you need to share your secret shame.

LBluca77 said...

I have a friend I will go to the movies with or shopping but that is about the exent of how fun she can be.

rs27 said...

I put my mom in this category.

Reya Mellicker said...

Blogger keeps eating my clever comments.

I'm going to pout now.

Kate said...

Some of the people I know in AA? That's all there is to our relationship. Not friendship, just that helping hand to get you one more day of sobriety.

Kristin said...

I'm definitely a fan of taking people and relationships for what they are - traveling budding, cooking discussions, books, whatever.

Sean said...

I had a friend in college who I could talk sports with for hours. When I would ask him anything else, such as how are your classes, his response would be fine.

Mike said...

"Some girl to thrill me and then go away"--John Mellencamp

You can have them go away? Nobody told ME that!

lacochran said...

Jamie: Drink buddies always count. Wait, what was the question?

Erin: Thanks for the encouragement. And "cluck buddies" is catchy. :)

Lemmonex: Yes, it is great to have someone who "gets it", even if "it" is only one narrow arena.

Narm: You see right throw me.

f.B: Huh. Fragmented in a good way, I guess.

LiLu: Yeah, you wouldn't want to mix them up. Then, again, it's just more blog fodder.

LBluca77: That's great if she's not pushing for more.

Rs27: Ha! Good one.

Reya Mellicker: Sorry for the technical difficulties. :(

Kate: Thank heaven for them. :)

Kristin: Maybe it's more common than I thought. It just seems like the vast majority of my relationships are stickier. Maybe I'm over-thinking them.

Sean: Huh. Exactly.

Mike: Be careful what you wish for...

Matt said...

Yes. I have a bunch of friends who are strictly drinking buddies.

We call each other when we need a drink.

not for any other reason. EVER.

lacochran said...

Matt: I need more of those people in my life.