This ever happen to you?
You'll be eating something and not really paying attention. So, maybe you're sitting on the couch, watching reruns of Family Guy, and munching on popcorn out of the bag or, if you're really ritzy, out of the bowl.
And somewhere between the bag/bowl and your mouth, some of that handful of popcorn decides to go on the lam. It's just not satisfied with the life it's leading. It wants to wear a poncho and a hat and clench a cigar in its teeth and ride the plains.
And out of the corner of your eye -- because you know if you totally look away from the TV you'll miss Stewie saying "Mm, Florida. Just think somewhere in this state right now Jeb Bush is eating a live puppy" -- you sort of notice the piece of popcorn falling to the floor.
You're not a complete pig. You reach down to pick up the piece of popcorn and, hell, it's been less than five seconds... you pop it in your mouth. That's when you realize that what you picked up wasn't the piece of popcorn.
Yeah, that never happened to me, either.
It did not! I made it up!
Shut up. You guys suck.
PS New poll up there on the right. Here's your chance to totally make it up to me.