12 February 2009

"Pay my own fun, oh and I pay my own bills" --Destiny's Child

[No wonder Charlie had so much angst. Good grief!]


In the "doesn't this seem strange" category:

  • I have paid a man to feel my breasts.* Okay, he was a surgeon and he was determining if the lumps were likely cancerous (they were not) but it did occur to me, as this guy was giving me the once, twice, thrice over that I was paying him to get to second base. This is one situation where you don't want to hear from the guy the next day.**
  • In a related "Wait, what are we paying for??" moment... We pay for termite control even though they never find termites. By that, I mean, we have termite bait stations inside and outside and someone comes out to the house every month or two and checks the stations. They wave a device over the station. The device beeps. They've never found any activity in any of the stations. For all I know, they're playing Donkey Kong on those devices.*** Then, again, maybe the termites are getting smarter and going around the stations. So maybe we're paying for termite control of the termite control stations.


* TMI? Well, it is Thursday.

*
* Speaking of the big C, was that the reason Charlie Brown had no hair? You'd think the other kids would have been a little nicer to him.

*** Okay, nobody plays Donkey Kong anymore even though there are 22 (!) references to Donkey Kong in the Urban Dictionary not including "It's on like..."

14 comments:

LiLu said...

Isn't Donkey Kong one of the guys in Mario Kart, though? He still rocks.

Poor, poor Charlie Brown. He still breaks my heart.

Liebchen said...

The original Donkey Kong was awesome. Especially when he beat his chest after he won. Don't know why that went out of style...

Ibid said...

There are three known active termite colonies on my block. Traps were laid and checked but always came up negative. But when I opened up a wall I found where the last wave of renovations had been done with non-pressure treated wood. The termites had cut through that stuff like it wasn't even there and were still living there. When the termite people came to spray they wouldn't go in to the crawl space to do a proper job. So I fired their worthless asses.

I had that back wall rebuilt. It uses pressure treated wood. The baseboard is also cyanide treated. Any termite who takes a nibble now dies.

DIES!!!!!

FoggyDew said...

Way back in the day, I had a full-sized Donkey Kong arcade game in my dorm room. The sad thing was, I could never quite seem to keep the high score to myself.

f.B said...

Doctors get all the perks. But I just can't do 37 more years of school.

Kate said...

We had a similar thing for the cockroaches when I lived down south. And I was willing to pay for them to find nothing so that I never had to see one.

rs27 said...

Good Grief.

I apologize. That was the easy way out.

Kristin said...

I miss Donkey Kong. And Frogger. And Q-Bert...

Mike said...

We want to hear more about the 'bases'.*

*not TMI

Matt said...

I've paid for another dude to feel my balls...

and I have to turn my head and cough.

in about 10 more years I will have to get "the digit", which I am not looking forward to...

maybe TMI there. Sorry.

Bilbo said...

I could say something like you don't need to pay someone to feel your breasts when I would do it for free, but I won't. You might check with Mike, though.

vw: a gift from heaven, this one - "paireezi". I'm not touching my next line with a 10-foot pole.

lacochran said...

LiLu: The Wiki judges say *ding!* *ding!* You are correct!

Liebchen: I think it just got overtaken by the newer ones.

Ibid: Note to self: If ever in Ibid's home, resist licking baseboards.

FoggyDew: Wow! I'll bet you were popular.

f.B: Me, neither.

Kate: Insurance *should* give piece of mind. Wait--you were a southerner? Who knew!

Rs27: I hope you don't lose your hair.

Kristin: I remember all of those. Le sigh...

Mike: I don't think the coach is giving you the signal.

Matt: Isn't it amazing what we pay other people to do to us?

Bilbo: These wv's do beg the question, is someone reading the content before they choose what they are? Some of them are just freaky.

emma said...

Is your doctor cute and single? Sometimes I think I'd rather pay then sit thru a mediocre dinner at a crowded restaurant and pretend interest in my date's choice of hair products.

I may be dating the wrong men.

lacochran said...

Emma: He isn't. And it sounds like you may be onto something there with your last statement.