10 August 2009

"You got me goin'... you're oh so charmin'..." --Britney Spears

Come closer... I don't want other people to hear this... There. That's so much better. *deep inhale, smile* Mmm, you smell nice.

Can we talk about flirting for a bit?

Can we just admit that sometimes we flirt? And there's a lot of reasons that we flirt?

Sometimes it's because we're attracted to people. Sometimes we just want the thrill of being a bit naughty. Sometimes we're feeling playful. Sometimes we're pushing boundaries. Sometimes we're bored. Sometimes we're curious. Sometimes we want to be perceived as charming or clever. Sometimes we want other people to feel attractive. Sometimes we are merely giving as good as we get.

And on the interwebs it is so easy to flirt. To take an idea or turn of a phrase and bend it to our liking. To provide innuendo that maybe was there all along or maybe wasn't but it's sure out there now. Because how much responsibility do you need to take if someone gives you an opening (ahem) and you merely take it?

Blogland is often a place to share secrets; an invitation to intimacy; a daring bit of exposure we might not otherwise offer up. Isn't that kind of what flirting is all about?

The interwebs is a fun place but it's not real life. Maybe it's a fun place because it's not real life.

True story from the land beyond the interwebs:

Years ago, Hubby and I were sitting at a cafe. There was a young, attractive woman sitting alone at a nearby table who was staring at Hubby. We both realized it. Curious, he looked at her. With her eyes locked on his, she took that moment to lick the circumference of her hot chocolate mug.

I kid you not.

Flirting? Yes. Tacky? Oh, yes. Effective? Hard to say as we don't know what her motivation was.

He opted not to pursue it. I opted to let him live.



Little Ms Blogger said...

Wow! Brazen hussy (I love the fact that I got to use the word 'brazen' - it's one of those fun words).

Seriously, didn't this woman see you sitting right next to your husband?

I think it would have been funny if you winked at her once she stopped gazing at your husband.

The Bug said...

Oh I remember those days & how it felt to flirt IRL. It was quite the boost to the ego. I don't do it anymore because I don't think I have anything to offer & because I'd be TERRIFIED if someone took me seriously. It's sad how conservative you get when you're older. Except my politics, & my religious beliefs, or my beliefs about how we should help take care of each other. Maybe I'm not conservative - I'm just a fraidy cat!

Liebchen said...

Oh wow. That goes beyond tacky.

I wonder what the online equivalent is to licking your coffee mug.

Felisa said...

I'm terrible at flirting. I flirt when I don't mean to (because some openings are too amazing to miss) and can't think of anything when I'm with someone who I DO wanna flirt with.

Licking the circumference of a hot chocolate mug when a guy (who is obviously with another woman)? Oh lord...

Angela said...

I'm a really big flirt. I just love doing it! I flirt with babies I see in grocery stores or restaurants (because really, making faces and smiling at babies can be considered flirting, right?? It makes them feel good), I flirt with guy friends I'm not attracted to, and I DEFINITELY flirt with guys I AM attracted to.

I think it's fun to find someone to flirt with and know that "nothing" will happen between the two of you, even though you both kind of want it to.

spleeness said...

are you KIDDING me?? With you right there, the woman does that?? Wow. Just... wow. I would never even think of doing that to a single guy let alone one obviously taken.

I remember once eating in a restaurant and the waitress was all gaga over my hubby, flirting big-time. I was not amused.

I thought there were unspoken yet universally understood codes of conduct for this kind of thing.

Mike said...

I think hubby missed out on a chance for a three way. (oh, and you too)

Barbara said...

This begs the question (which I believe you raised before) of how real we are in our Blog personae. We can be whatever we want to be, to reinvent to our heart's content, to drop off all those warts that spell reality. We can actually try things in Blogland that we might never be brave enough to try in person -- like flirting with our readers and with those whose Blogs we read. The blessing and curse about Blogging is there are no rules, so most anything and anyone is fair game.

Tina said...

I find flirting much easier if there is no real "intent". And for the most part I agree that it is a harmless and enjoyable pastime. I think it can be almost a "gateway drug" as it were to more harmful things (harmful if you are in a relationship with me and flirting with someone else that is)

That woman with the mug though - way beyond tacky.

Herb of DC said...

You should have licked his hot mug in retaliation.

justjp said...

I am notorious for unintentional flirting. I am a social person, but this does get me in trouble at times. Seriously though, right in front of you, that is tacky.

Deutlich said...

WHAT?! She did that WHILE you were at the table too?!

Dear gawd.

LiLu said...

You mean, you opted to let HER live...

Sean said...

Would it be considered flirting if I ask you if you come to this blog often?

lacochran said...

Little Ms Blogger: Oh, she saw me.

The Bug: Prudent?

Liebchen: Sending someone naked picture on Match.com?

Felisa: I can't fault her taste but her judgment... that's a whole 'nother thing.

Angela: How do you know nothing will happen?

spleeness: There are. Some people ignore them.

Mike: She wasn't looking at both of us.

Barbara: Fair enough.

Tina: Agreed.

Herb of DC: I'd say he gets his mug licked enough but that would just be tacky.

justjp: I think it would have been tacky of her whether I was there or not.

Deutlich: Yes indeed. There was a woman who didn't know (or didn't care to know) the difference between sexy and skanky.

LiLu: I may not like what she does but it's only what he does that matters.

Sean: Your blog or mine? ;)

Bilbo said...

Many years ago, when I was far more studly than I am now, I was having lunch with a lady I'd met at work who had been gently flirting with me. She ordered an ice cream sundae for dessert, and when it arrived, she carefully scooped the cherry from the top of the heap of whipped cream, looked at it, then looked me right in the eye, smiled, and said, "I could have sworn I lost this years ago."

The moment was lost when she was distracted by the sound of my jaw hitting the floor.

Tina said...

While I totally agree it is what he does that matters, I still would have been hard pressed to avoid seeing how sexy she looked while running her tongue around the bowl of the ladies room john. With a little help from moi of course.

lacochran said...

Bilbo: How could you have been more studly? Makes no sense.

Tina: Next time I'll call you so you can be my enforcer.