Movie Logic (much like Cartoon Logic)

Okay, let's assume that one could dodge a bullet by doing a backflip. You see it all the time in action movies. Instead of just, say, a "drop and roll" evasive maneuver, the hero or heroine goes into a backflip. Or leaps over the bullet in a slow motion front flip. I could maybe accept this. But what grates my cheese is it's never one flip. It's always a series. Three or four flips. During which time, said action hero/heroine couldn't possibly have a good scope on where the bad guy/gal is. Sure they're moving and a body in motion is harder to hit. But it's gotta take the wind out of them just when they ought to be conserving their energy.

Just keep repeating, LA, "It's only a movie."

Overheard in a women's dressing room

Overheard two women in the next dressing room. If I had to guess I'd say African-American.

"You don't need that."
"Oh, yeah, I have to wear something to cover my back. Look at that. Look how fat my back is."

20 minutes later, I am back in the same dressing room. This time it sounds like Indian women next door.

"Oh, god, look how fat I am!"
"You think that's bad..."

Speaking of overhearing things... check out the Overheardintheoffice link in my links list.

Poor Uncle Devis

Well, now that I got the below e-mail, I guess I can take it in to my boss and quit. *cough*

I'm sure that's the way Uncle... what was his name? oh, yeah,... Devis would have wanted it.

Nope, nothing suspicious here. La, la, la.

**************************************
JUSTICE AT LAW CHAMBERS
BARRISTER: XXXXXXXXXXXXX ESQ
SOLICITORS AND ADVOCATE
NO,15 CANAL ESTATE
COTONOUBENIN REPUBLIC OF BENIN (ESQ)
EMAIL:XXXXXXX@XXX.XXX

ATTN: COCHRAN

DEAR COCHRAN, GREETINGS.................... THIS MAIL WILL SURELY COME TO YOU WITH GREAT SURPRISE SINCE WE NEVER HAD ANY PREVIOUS CORRESPONDENCE WITH DUE RESPECT, I HAVE TO BE VERY HONEST AND STRAIGHT TO THE POINT FIRST, LET ME INTRODUCE MYSELF AS BARRISTER XXXXXXX, A SOLICITOR AT LAW. I AM THE PERSONAL ATTORNEY TO (MR DEVIS COCHRAN) A NATIONAL OF YOUR COUNTRY, WHO USED TO WORK WITH SHELL PETROLEUM DEVELOPMENT COMPANY HERE IN (COTONO BENIN REPUBLIC) HERE IN AFTER, SHALL BE REFERRED TO AS MY CLIENT. ON THE 21ST OF OCTOBER 2001, MY CLIENT, HIS WIFE AND THEIR THREE CHILDREN WERE INVOLVED IN AN AUTO ACCIDENT ALONG HILLAKONDJI EXPRESS ROAD ALL OCCUPANTS OF THE VEHICLE UNFORTUNATELY LOST THEIR LIVES.


SINCE THEN I HAVE MADE SEVERAL INQUIRIES FROM YOUR EMBASSY TO LOCATE ANY OF MY CLIENT’S EXTENDED RELATIVES. THIS HAS ALSO PROVED UNSUCCESSFUL AFTER THESE SEVERAL UNSUCCESSFUL ATTEMPTS, I DECIDED TO TRACK HIS LAST NAME OVER THE INTERNET,TO LOCATE ANY MEMBER OF HIS FAMILY, HENCE I CONTACTED YOU.DEAR, I AM HONESTLY CONTACTING YOU TO ASSIST IN REPATRIATING THE MONEY AND PROPERTY LEFT BEHIND BY MY CLIENT BEFORE THEY GET CONFISCATED OR DECLARED UNSERVICEABLE BY THE SECURITY COMPANY WHERE THESE HUGE DEPOSITS WERE LODGED. PARTICULARLY, THE SECURITY COMPANY WHERE THE MY LATE CLIENT HAD AN ACCOUNT VALUED AT ABOUT (TEN MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS) HAS ISSUED ME A NOTICE TO PROVIDE THE NEXT OF KIN OR HAVE THE ACCOUNT CONFISCATED WITH IN THE NEXT FOURTEEN OFFICIAL WORKING 20DAYS.


SINCE I HAVE BEEN UNSUCCESSFUL IN LOCATING THE RELATIVES FOR OVER FIVE MONTHS NOW, SEEK YOUR CONSENT TO PRESENT YOU AS THE NEXT OF KIN OF THE DECEASED SINCE YOU HAVE THE SAME LAST NAME SO THAT THE PROCEEDS OF THIS ACCOUNT VALUED AT ($10 MILLION DOLLARS) CAN BE PAID TO YOU AND THEN YOU AND I CAN SHARE THE MONEY. 70% TO ME AND 30% TO YOU.I WISH TO LET YOU KNOW THAT I HAVE ALL NECESSARY LEGAL DOCUMENTS THAT CAN BE USED TO BACK UP ANY CLAIM WE MAY MAKE. ALL I REQUIRE IS YOUR HONEST COOPERATION TO ENABLE US SEE THIS DEAL THROUGH. I GUARANTEE THAT THIS WILL BE EXECUTED UNDER A LEGITIMATE ARRANGEMENT THAT WILL PROTECT YOU FROM ANY BREACH OF THE LAW. PLEASE GET IN TOUCH WITH ME BY MY EMAIL TO ENABLE US DISCUSS FURTHER AND LET’SO FURTHER DISCUSS ON HOW WE SHALL MEET FACE TO FACE ALSO. CONTACT ME ALSO INDICATING YOUR INTEREST TO COLLABORATE WITH ME THANKS.

BEST REGARDS,

BARRISTER XXXXXXXXXX ESQ

Restaurant Review: The Bombay Club, Washington, DC

Had the wonderful experience of Sunday brunch at The Bombay Club in Washington.

Ambiance: Gloriously elegant without being stuffy (no dress code). From the gorgeous appointments (potted palms, beautiful place settings, silver tureens) to the pianist playing familiar tunes at a level that still allows conversation, you "sit nice", as my cousin would say. Very nice, indeed. (Check out there website: http://www.bombayclubdc.com/ for good photos of the space.) 29.

Service: Excellent! We were warmly welcomed when we arrived and the service stayed impeccable despite the fact that this was a buffet. We were immediately brought the (included and tasty) champagne as well as hot naan. Friendly and attentive service without being intrusive. 29.

Vegetarian Options: Enough to choose from on the buffet. Of the seven or eight main dishes to partake of, four or five were vegetarian. Plus they had a lovely field greens and veggies salad, fruit salad, raita, and rice pudding. 25.

Food: The food was consistently good if not the layers of seasoning flavor one might crave. There was a small amount of heat, no doubt toned down for American palates. The seasoned eggs and the dal were both quite tasty while the potato/peas dish and the spinach/cheese dish were good but pretty standard. 24.

Cost: The all-you-can-eat buffet with champagne and naan and parking (see below) was $20 per person. That may well be the best deal in town! 29

Additional Plusses: Complementary valet parking included with brunch! No little thing in DC! +1

Overall Score: 28.

My opinion. Mine alone.

"Who will not wear the ribbon?!" --Seinfeld episode/The end of the ribbon epidemic?

This weekend I saw the usual gobs and gobs of magnetic car ribbons imprinted with cheesy, patriotic slogans. Some vehicles have three or more different ribbons.

I also saw one on the back of a pick-up truck that said "Support Strippers". I'm thinking when it gets to parody level, maybe the time has come for the trend to be over. IhopeIhopeIhope. This one is soooooooooooooooo played out.

It seems like people can't wait to hurl their money at the next insipid craze.

Buzzbuzzbuzz went the Treo/Noise pollution/Rudeness line

I know I'm old but I can remember the day when the strangest sounds you could expect while sitting in a meeting were those associated with bodily functions. Okay, so those aren't great... or desireable. At least you can expect an "excuse me" muttered or a sheepish grin.

These days, it's cell phones playing tunes and Treos buzzing like bumble bees every time a message comes in and no awareness that this is inappropriate. Is it any wonder we are a nation of attention deficit folks when we are constantly bombarded by interrupting noises--and we feel we must respond to them? All of them??!

I don't know if this is a case of "Look how important I am" or if its just the condition of work life these days.

Me? I set my little Palm planner's noise to OFF so everbody doesn't have to hear me clicking away. And my phone? (She looks left and right for the culture police before whispering:) I turn my phone off.

The rudeness line is shifting dramatically. I don't know what to do about it but I sure don't want to be a part of it.

Go ahead, try it. Ask the universe for what you want!

About a month ago, I wrote in "It's awful nice... it's paradise... (where to retire : tropical paradise)" :

"What's up with that? Where are the venture capitalist entrepreneur types to build the dream retirement community options for the average Joe and Jane Yuppie Boomer and cash in big time?

"Perhaps now that I've stated my wish to the blogging universe it will become reality."

Well, this week, while perusing the latest copy of Caribbean Travel & Life I came across an ad for islandhome.info. Not a Caribbean community but a Caribbean community finder service, of sorts. Huh.

Thank you, Universe!

The Long Tail/Chris Anderson's view of the evolving marketplace

Been hearing about the "long tail" lately. Interesting concept. Does it spell the death of Top 40 stations?

Here's an article about the book...

http://www.newyorker.com/critics/books/articles/060710crbo_books1

"World Trade Center" movie/Only in America would we be so insensitive

Where else but in America would we take a horrendous tragedy and turn it into "entertainment"?

This morning I saw an ad for "World Trade Center". Perhaps it was a minute that the movie trailer played. In that brief time, I flashed back on that horrible time and all the terror and sadness that went with it.

No doubt, the producers would say that the film is already doing its job if I remembered 9-11. I hadn't ever forgotten 9-11. Reliving the trauma with visual cues certainly won't help in any way that I can see. It's much like raising the alert level without providing information on how to respond differently. What is the value of reliving trauma if you feel powerless to change it?

I was lucky--I lost no one I knew in 9-11. I can only imagine the pain that family members must endure on a daily basis without this crass, disgusting attempt to capitalize off this disaster in our country's very recent history.

Movie Review: Firewall (no spoilers)

We saw Firewall on Pay-Per-View last night. The plot: A security specialist is forced into robbing the bank that he's protecting, as a bid to pay off his family's ransom. Interesting premise but not all that interesting a delivery. Harrison Ford played Harrison Ford (think of him in Airforce One yelling "GET OFF MY PLANE!") Either you like that sort of thing or you don't. The lead villain was played by Bill Cox, doing his best pale imitation of Alan Rickman.

Have you noticed how all the villains used to have Russian accents and now they have steely British accents? When did our only international ally because the source of our movie angst?

Mary Lynn Rajskub, who plays Ford's secretary, out-acts both Ford and Cox. She's interesting and compelling. The rest of the cast, considerably less so. This is a problem in a movie that hinges on you rooting for the survival of Ford's family members. I really didn't care if they survived or not. The storyline, though action-packed right from the get-go, sometimes reads like a serial mystery for kids (everything mentioned is used later) and sometimes like a McGyver episode.

Kudos to the animal handlers for placing what appears to be a very dumb dog in this film--must be hard for him to get work. The dog seems to want to run away from Ford, his supposedly beloved master, even as Ford is "rescuing" him. Then, again, I'm not sure I blame him on this one.

Still, it had a few plot twists (the last half-hour was better than the rest of the film.) On the whole, I give it two out of four Jujubees.

Creepy Burger King "King" ad campaign

Clearly, I am not Burger King's target demographic. Still, I have to wonder who the heck is?

Who responds well to the silent, plastic-masked icon they've had showing up in strange places in their very creepy ad campaign? I haven't seen it recently so I'm hoping the King is dead.

It's reminiscent of those 1970's horror movies that always feature a scene of the villian chasing the heroine in an amusement park, where they swing the camera in for close-ups of the horse heads from the carousel.

Just bizarre. Memorable, but I gotta think, not in a way that's good for business.

Not biting the hand that feeds me or any hand (veg blog with meat ads)

Okay, so I'm new to blogging and new to having ads on my blog. And, hey, it costs me nothing and potentially earns me buckeroos. Still, it's interesting to see what gets generated in the ad space. In theory it's linked to what I write about. Yet, here I am, an avowed vegetarian, talking about vegetarian things now and again, and the ad du moment is for Hormel lunch meats. Kinda amusing. Makes me wonder if the software is picking up on the right words to successfully reach the demographic for their ads.

If I don't have working e-mail, do I really exist?

Sigh, my work e-mail account is so messed up that I can't get into it. And so we wait for the techie. Apparently he is like Elvis, they think he is in the building but (due to pager trouble) they're not sure. What does it say about techies when they can't get their technology to work for them? I don't want to think about it.

I am not my e-mail.
I am not my e-mail.
I am not my e-mail.

Am I?


Well, at least I have my non-work account. Only half invisible. All the strangeness and none of the benefits of full invisibility.

Restaurant Review: The Russia House, Herndon, VA

Went to the Russia House in Herndon, VA to celebrate two birthdays last night. Here's my take (scale of 30):

Ambiance: Upscale but comfortable. White table clothes, candlelight on the tables, chandeliers, draped room dividers, and some very strange art--caricatures of Russians that were a little freaky. 27

Service: Friendly and solicitous, especially for a Monday night. We had to wait a bit for the coffee to arrive even though we had our desserts already. On the other hand, they brought gratis desserts (tiramisu and cream puffs drizzled with chocolate) with candles for the two birthday boys. 28

Vegetarian Options: They had about five entrees, mostly variations on pasta with veggies but also a grilled vegetable and rice plate for the health-minded. They also had two vegetarian soups (both the borscht and the onion soup were declared meat and stock free) and salads. 20

Food: Rich and comforting. Lots of sour cream and/or butter in the sauces. Well balanced flavors and nice presentation. Sizeable portions. I was informed that the beef stroganoff was indeed worthy of being a house specialty. The cheesecake with chocolate ganache was lighter than one would expect. 28

Cost: Pricey. Downtown DC prices out in the 'burbs of Herndon. 15.

Additional plusses: On-street, free parking. Huge variety of drinks including every flavored vodka imaginable. Baskets of cloth towels in the restrooms. +2

Overall score: 25.6. A nice splurge for a special occasion.

My opinions. Mine alone.

What was once innocuous is now a full-fledged syndrome

Have you noticed that what was once an innocuous part of life is now a full-fledged syndrome? It seems I hear more and more TV and radio commericials claiming that you (or I) may have a newly named disease. They go sort of like this:

"Do you sometimes smile? Ever raise an eyebrow? Have days when you seem to breathe more than other days? Notice your eyes closing as you drift off to sleep? If you answered yes to at least one of these, you could be suffering from a recently diagnosed condition called 'smilebrowbreatherdrift syndrome', or SBBDS. The cause of SBBDS is not known but thanks to advanced research, DowGlaxo has developed a new approach to minimizing the debillitating impact of SBBDS, it's a twice daily medicine called Calmex. You don't have to suffer from SBBDS any longer. Call your doctor NOW and ask him about Calmex."

And before you can even fully parse the ridiculousness of what you've heard, some part of your brain is saying, 'Gee, I HAVE noticed my eyes closing as I drift off to sleep...should I be concerned?!'

Fear mongerers. Foy!

Make Mine Virginia Wine (Winery recommendations)

Good wine. Good friends. Good weather. Good view. What could be better?

The state of Virginia, boasting that it was the "first in wine", having produced wine in 1608, is now home to more than 100 wineries. Happily, I was at Linden and Fox Meadow wineries yesterday and can recommend both heartily. Where Linden is an old favorite, Fox Meadow may become a new favorite. For such a new winery, it has excellent options, very genial hosts, and even better views of the Blue Ridge mountains than Linden!

Peeves (what they mean when they say vegetarian) and Kudos (Mr. Chan's)

Don'tcha hate people that decide they need their own special diet and then expect others to kow-tow to their demands? I'm one of those people. And I know it's not reasonable so when restaurants go out of their way to have options on their menu I'll eat them. But when they don't have options on their menu, I wish they'd just be upfront about it. I call ahead so there aren't awkward table-side discussions. Sometimes, unfortunately, the calls go something like this:

Me: Do you have vegetarian options on your menu?
Them: Well, um, we can make something vegetarian for you.
Me: Really? That's nice. Like what?
Them: Oh, we can modify, er, um, some dishes and just leave ingredients out of how we usually make our items in order to meet your needs.
Me: Like...
Them: Well, um, maybe like the Chicken and Rice in Hearty Stock with Bacon Bits. We could leave off the chicken. And the stock. And the bacon bits.
Me: But the cook designed the dish to have these items... so if you take them out it's not really gonna taste all that great, right?
Them: Um... well... um...
Me: Um, thanks, just the same.

I'd rather they just say: Sorry, no.

Variation on a theme:
Me: Do you have vegetarian options on your menu?
Them: Well, we can get you a side salad.
Me: What does that consist of?
Them: A 2" bowl of iceberg lettuce with a thin slice of cucumber.
Me: ...
Them: You can order two.
Me: ...
Them: ...

I guess people try to be helpful even when they don't have much to offer.

Connected peeve: I've been to many restaurants these days that have huge menus but don't even have vegetarian salads. They have salads but they're all meatful.

Tangential peeve: Have you noticed how everything imaginable falls under the term "salad" these days?

Nopeevewhatsoever:
Met up with a pal from high school for dinner the other night. Had a wonderful meal at Mr. Chan's in Pikesville, Maryland. They have two pages of vegan dishes on their regular menu. WAY COOL! And very tasty. Didn't have to cut a thing!! Great flavors. Kudos to pal, Amy, for bringing us to this delight!

Snopes.com/Save us from ourselves

I got an e-mail about Swiffer causing the death of pets this morning. It was sent out to a wide distribution (~70 folks) because some well meaning person did not actually validate the accuracy of what they were reading.

People, people, people. Fergawdssake, please get to know Snopes.com. Use it. Liberally. That's what it's there for.

Snopes.com investigates urban legends, rumors and even those "facts" that swear it was their brother's best friend to which it happened. There are some (very few) ligitimate concerns zipping through the internet mill and snopes.com can verify those, too, but most of what you read is completely bogus. (Think: Neiman Marcus $250 cookie recipe, Target being French owned and not supporting veteran causes, 'forward this message written by this terminally ill child and the cancer society will give a donation', etc.)

When I get these sorts of things, I want to call the people that forward them and ask them "Did you know there's a picture of you in the dictionary under the word gullible?", "Is your refrigerator running?", "Do you have Prince Albert in a can?" and any other lame gag I can think of from 20 years ago.

But I don't. I quietly look up the latest "scare tactic/smear campaign" on snopes.com and forward the information to them with a plea to check snopes.com before they forward more information of this ilk.

Perhaps the internet can be credited with making us a bit more wary of what comes our way. Good thing? Depends on your belief system, I suppose.

The Hundred Mile Diet

Check out the Hundred Mile Diet. Interesting concept. Likely how our ancestors ate, if ya think about it. I first read about this while traveling on business last month.

Here's one of many articles...
http://thetyee.ca/Life/2005/06/28/HundredMileDiet/

I do try to eat local, organic stuff whenever possible (as well as supporting local restaurants ;) for different reasons) but I am way too spoiled to get everything within 100 miles.

Claiming my blog in Technorati

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If anybody asks, you haven't seen this cat

So we have the perfect cat. It often greets us in the morning, runs up to us when we arrive home from work, is very affectionate and will purr and be pet for an hour if we want.

And then it goes home. It lives three doors down. So we don't have the vet bills/angst, the food bills, the litter box aroma, it doesn't knock things off our dresser at 3 a.m. We just have the joy.

Problem is it seems to prefer us to its owner of late. It wants in our house. And it's often on our porch, ignoring said owner when owner calls. Owner has noticed. Perhaps feeding it sour cream was a mistake...