01 February 2010

"It's a nice day for a white wedding" --Billy Idol

[Choosing the appropriate form of wedding announcement can be tricky.]

A local radio station is in the process of giving away a "$50,000 dream wedding package." Last week, the station had listeners vote on which of five couples should receive the package. The winning couple was announced this past Friday. The wedding will take place in one week--yes, this Friday, at the Sunset Room at the National Harbor. Every day this week, listeners are encouraged to log in and vote on various aspects of the wedding.Today, listeners are to log into the station's web-site and vote on one of three bridal gowns, based on pictures of the bride in each. At least they're not forcing the bride to wear a three wolves shirt.

I've attended weddings in excess of $100,000. One particular extravaganza comes to mind. Think not just many open bars but ice sculpture vodka fountains; think skewers of fruit on arrival, and an appetizer hour after the ceremony that had not just tray-passed hors d'oeuvre but stations that included a caviar bar, a sushi bar, a made-to-order pasta bar, a baked potato bar, a carving station and more all before the multi-course, sit-down dinner; a string quartet for the ceremony and a twelve-piece band for the reception, and on and on. They even had a hot pretzel vendor handing out pretzels at 2 a.m. in the parking lot as people left. Only one disappointing aspect: They had plenty of people in monkey suits but no monkeys.

[Yeah, sometimes weddings are more about the bride.]

Still, that's a bit much for me. It was fun to attend but it's not my style. I have been a bride in two weddings. Resources were definitely finite but I was very pleased with both events, all the same. If someone had given me $50,000 with no strings attached to plan one of my weddings, I'd have certainly accepted it.

But they're not giving away $50,000. They're giving away a $50,000 wedding package that is provided in exchange for promotional advertising. That means the bride and groom are told which jeweler they get the rings from, who will be providing the catering, and on and on.

Now, I could have a kick-ass party for all my friends for $50,000, regardless of what options I got stuck with, but a wedding? That's a different thing. Shouldn't a wedding truly reflect the two people involved?

Which brings us to the question of the day: If you were planning to get married, would you hand over all the decisions to someone else so you could get a $50,000 wedding package?


Little Ms Blogger said...

God no!

I'm 44 and got remarried in October 2008 and planned everything. It was low key and wonderful.

Wasn't into the same stuff I was at 24 when I actually had party favors that guests never care about.

brad said...

I can't help but think this is what thousands of young guys do every year. Hand over the keys and let the in-laws front the bill.

Or at least so goes the stereotype.

Jason W said...

It depends how much control I would have to give up to get the wedding package. Having to get a suit from Pretty Good Suits, Inc., would be fine, but having to wear a light blue suit with a puffy shirt would not.

I like the photos you pick for your posts, btw.

Drama Queen said...

No brainer:

Wedding #1: I gave up total control to "Momzilla" - in exchange for a huge, kick-ass wedding. I was miserable. But my Mom had fun.

Wedding #2: Hubby & I got married for $400 in a little chapel in Las Vegas. Best day of my life.

Loved the picture you have at the top. :)

froggy said...

No, why deprive my mom of all the fun? Was the only girl, I had no expectations or requirements - just easy going - we stayed for the whole party and was there the next day serving breakfast to folks dropping by. ALL about family and having a good time with family and friends.

The Bug said...

If I could write my vows (which we did) & if I looked ok in the dress, then I'd be ok with it. I practically made my mom & bridesmaids take care of my details - other than the dress & & vows I didn't really care!

The Maiden Metallurgist said...

Absolutely. I cared so little about the why's and how's of our wedding, if someone wanted to plan it and pay for it and I'd have still ended up married, hells yes I'd take that package.

Kate said...

I'd do it, but it will be a cold day in hell when it happens, so as far as I'm concerned, it will be a miracle. And if someone wants to foot the bill for that miracle, I'll take it. And that means I could fly in all my blogger friends. Right?! AMIRITE?

Sean said...

I know that I'm not answering your question, but I'm guessing that the baked potato bar (which sounds like a great idea) didn't put too much of a dent into the $100,000 budget.

Masala Chica said...

Maybe - but doubtful. If they give the money - they can drive the decisions and what''s the point then. No thank you.

Mike said...

No way in hell I would want to be the center of attention in a circus like that.

Alex said...

In my experience, the fancier the wedding, the more ridiculous and cheesy it all seems.

Herb of DC said...

Based upon the weddings I have attended over the years, those married in more elaborate weddings have marriages that last less than 10 years. Those married in simple ceremonies seem to have a much longer shelf life.

I am sure there are many exceptions to this. I don't get out much.

Lora said...

I didn't care about the whys and hows either.
But, I wouldn't want my wedding to be a commercial. My one specification for everything was that there was to be no brand names on anything!

so my answer, yes. but my MoH would be responsible for tearing down all the adverts!

Barbara said...

Absolutely NOT. I would elope before commercializing my wedding in that way. How disgusting!

FoggyDew said...

Brad kinda beat me to the punch. This would definitely be easier for guys since we're genetically programed to evaporate whenever wedding planning is mentioned.

Best quote from my brother MiL: "The wedding's been planned for years, the only detail missing was the groom's name for the invitations."

lbluca77 said...

If I ever get married I would absolutely not hand over all the decisions to be made. But I would also never plan a $50,000 wedding even if I had the money.

I will be fine being a courthouse bride.

Alice said...

oof, nope nope nope nope nope. i don't plan on having a big wedding if and when it happens, but i DO plan on it being MY wedding.

12minds said...

Meh, likely not. I'm all for subtle and classy and I feel like leaving the decision-making to someone who's intent is to promote stuff won't let that happen.

Cyndy said...

I'd feel like I was selling my soul, or at least the sould of my wedding if I went for a package like that. On the other hand those couples are potentially saving themselves or the bride's family a ton of money, especially if a big extravaganza was going to be in the works anyway.

WordNerd said...

Nah, no way. I wasn't thrilled with the planning process, but in the end we did it our way. I couldn't handle having no say, especially given some wacky ideas the wedding industry has foisted on the general public.

Titania said...

No way, under my point of view, a wedding is something way too personal to give someone else compete power over it. And, if I ever get married again, my plan is to have a BBQ in a park, with everyone in jeans, or on bicycles and spandex

Pauline said...

"Shouldn't a wedding truly reflect the two people involved?"

Yes! This is a day that marks the rest of your lives as a married couple and should reflect your personal choices, beliefs, etc.

Bowie Mike said...

I have to speak up here. I know John Patterson, and he is not worthless! Shiftless, yes, but not worthless!

Kate said...

Hell to the NAW.

Mac and Cheese said...

My wedding kind of was like that. Parents paid, event was in that price range, and I wouldn't do it that way again, only because of the bickering. If someone else had all the control and left the parents out of it, no problem! The wedding is for show. The marriage is what's important.

Tinksfairy said...

Is it reeeaaally that different from a normal wedding? At least this time the intentions of your monetary benefactors are purely profit-driven, and they ask for promotion rather than guilt tripping you for months on end.

My best friend is getting married this summer and her soon-to-be mother-in-law is not only freaking out about the color scheme of the "wedding quilt," but also spending the summer in a camper with her husband about 200 feet away from my friend and her fiance's summer camp site.

...They will spend their first 3 months as newlyweds a football field away from the in-laws.

And these in-laws won't be paying them $50,000.

That being said, I totally see your point and it's a good one.

Narm said...

Only if the person making the decisions was Gary Busey.

Maya said...

I think not! But, I am a control freak.

My VW: hippi. HAH

Maya said...

Also, I'd rather have that kind of money for the honeymoon!

Mike said...

HEY! Where's the snow post?!

lacochran said...

Little Ms Blogger: But the party favors are the best part! :)

brad: All depends on the guy. Some definitely do.

Jason W: Don't you want to be pirate?

Drama Queen: Like with an Elvis impersonator? Please say you had one!

froggy: Glad it worked for you. We talking eggs or cinnamon buns or what?

The Bug: At least you're clear on your priorities.

The Maiden Metallurgist: But what if you didn't get wedding pies?

Kate: You invite, I'm there!

Sean: Probably not but they were served in huge stem-wear. Really.

Masala Chica: You clearly understand my concern.

Mike: As opposed to your usual circus?

Alex: Oh, I've seen ridiculousness at all levels.

Herb of DC: Could be a correlation but as I said to Alex, I'm not so sure.

Lora: I picture a woman in a gown running around tearing down banners. Quality entertainment!

Barbara: Interesting. I think I'd prefer the circus to eloping. To each his own.

FoggyDew: Wow, that MiL's quote is cold!

lbluca77: Not even on the bar bill?

Alice: Or at least yours and your beloved's.

12minds: Unless they're trying to promote subtle and classy as their trademark?

Cyndy: All true.

WordNerd: Not into the chocolate fountain?

Titania: I'm not coming if I have to wear spandex.

Pauline: Seems logical.

Bowie Mike: :) Is he no count?

Kate: Thanks for weighing in.

Mac and Cheese: The marriage is much more important than the wedding.

Tinksfairy: If that doesn't kill the love connection, nothing will.

Narm: Can you see that mug photobombing all the fancy photographs?

Maya: What's wrong with control freaks? :)

Maya part deux: Trip around the world?

Mike: Done!

Maya said...

Did I say there was anything wrong with control freaks???

YES, trip around the world would be a very good way to spend that money!

spleeness said...

My wedding was so low key. I didn't even wear a wedding dress. It was in the woods at a local park.

A $50K wedding? If it were free, maybe, but I hate that kind of fanfare so not sure if I'd want it. If I did agree though, I don't think I'd care about the details like where, flowers, cake, etc.