30 December 2009

"I'm not pristine, I'm no queen" --Fergie

Hi there. Yeah, I'm back.

It's been a wild and woolly coupla weeks. I won't bore you with the details. Suffice to say there's been laughter and tears. There's been hospital visits* and glitter cards**.

There's been Cabernet with a head on it, too. I took this shot after a few minutes, when, even though it had subsided considerably, that bubbly froth continued to hang on, unwanted, like a Seth Rogan project.

Sorry, it's a little fuzzy. The wine glass is actually a wine plastic.***

At least I didn't have to skimp on the foodstuffs. Mmmm, Land o Lakes Butter... Wait, what?

Wow, that's pretty blurry, too. Let's try again...

What do you mean, you still can't read it? Have you been drinking Cabernet with a head on it? That says "Fresh Buttery Taste Spread" ...mmmmMMMMmmmm, nummy.

* If you're looking for inspiration to get back in shape, go visit someone in the hospital. Nothing will inspire you to exercise more. Unfortunately, as unfancy as I am--even I won't drop and give you twenty on a hospital floor. I have done push-ups on a hotel room floor. Disgusting? Sure. But probably not deadly. Hmmm, sounds like a good question du jour: Would you exercise on a hotel room floor?

** Can we stop with the glitter encrusted holiday cards? I keep trying to wash this stuff off. It's like it's two days after I've been at a club with a sixteen year old. I've said too much.

*** What does one call a glass made of plastic? Oh, yeah: "tacky."


Bilbo said...

You need to have plastic wine glasses to drink wine that comes in screw top bottles. Everyone knows that. Anyhow, nice to have you back.

Gilahi said...

Yeah, foamy wine in Georgia, but at least they didn't offer to put ice in your cabernet like they did in New Jersey. A dollop of Fresh Buttery Taste Spread would've knocked those bubbles right down.

Anonymous said...

Oh dear, I kinda love glitter encrusted x-mas cards. I did finally throw away my body glitter from the 90s during this week's closet cleaning, though. Baby steps.

And very glad to see you back! xo

Tinksfairy said...

1. Yes, I have exercised on a hotel floor. Pushups, crunches, you name it. Probably not that much more gross than using the shower...

2. Glitter is THE worst. Glitter cards = finding glitter in your cereal 3 days later. The stuff never goes away.

3. I call it a plass.

froggy said...

I have spent hundreds of hours in hospitals with Eldest. Every time we end up there I swear I am going to get into shape. Right now I'm going another merry go round with another family member and yep, I'm still not in shape.

Glitter - oh, I have Official Glitter Fairies - long story about kids, coaching creative problem solving teams and a coach who produced her own trade-able Glitter Faires. It is too late for me! Save yourself!!

Drama Queen said...

Yay - you're back!

I'm the girl that has a piece of glitter on her nose and no one tells her - and then you wonder how long it's been stuck there.

spleeness said...

I've worked out on hotel room floors too, but I put down a towel. In a hospital, I would do wall push-ups and then lay a torch to my hands to sanitize them afterwards!

I hope whoever you were visiting is feeling better soon. Sounds like a heck of a week!

Liebchen said...

Glad you're back - good luck with the glitter! I wore glitter lotion as part of my Halloween costume this year...I sparkled for days.

Herb of DC said...

As a child I always wanted to visit Land O Lakes--I imagine it is a glitter-free zone.

Narm said...


All is well in the world.

Wait, Nickelback is still out there.

I blame you.

Mike said...

"What does one call a glass made of plastic?"

It's called 'refillable' after being dropped.

Bowie Mike said...

I like to take a black light with me to find the best spot on the floor to exercise - or go to the hotel gym.

Barbara said...

Hospitals and old folks homes are places that remind you that you want to postpone getting sick or old as long as possible.

I've tied my Theraband to an airplane seat and stretched my hip. I would quickly do the same in a hotel room. Lying on the floor is another matter. I might have to put a towel down on the rug.

lacochran said...

Bilbo: Screw tops are back, Baby!

Gilahi: It'll fix whatever ails ya.

emmajames: Congrats on getting rid of the 90s glitter! I hope you gave it to a glitter-needy person.

Tinksfairy: A plass! I like it!

froggy: I picture you on the floor, engulfed in glitter quicksand when you say those last two lines.

Drama Queen: You and me both, Honey. It's only slightly preferable to spinach in the teeth.

spleeness: What makes you think the towels are cleaner? :) Thanks. She's on the mend.

Liebchen: Aww, you always sparkle.

Herb of DC: Is that anywhere near Hidden Valley?

Narm: Are they really still out there? They hardly ever write. Maybe you'd better check.

Mike: Oh, plastic can crack. If you smack it against something. Repeatedly. Hard. So I've heard.

Bowie Mike: Hotel gym? You stay at some fancy places.

Barbara: At least they vacuum hotel rugs. I've never seen anyone clean an airplane seat.

LiLu said...

I dunno. I rather think the plastic matches cabernet with a head on it. You have to have legs, not head, to get the real (glass) deal in my book.

My thoughts are with you and yours for the new year.


kys said...

I wouldn't exercise on a hotel room floor. I'm kind of a germ freak.

Rayna said...

I don't even exercise on my OWN floor!

Dmbosstone said...

Actually I think I have.

I'm still alive.