A New Goal for the New Congress (Cracking the Disney Vault Issue)

Why are we bickering about the war and health care and such when there's clearly a bigger issue: Who is in charge of the Disney vault? You'd think in an era of such stress, they'd be pushing out videos fast and furious but no! Disney ads all talk about... available for a limited time before it goes back in the vault. Why?? Who decides on how long a video can actually be out of the vault? Is there an ogre minding the door? Can't congress do something about this so our children can watch Cinderella one more time?!

Seriously, folks, does anyone still fall for this style of time pressure selling? Next Disney will be doing infomercials...

"I'm Jane TalkingHead and welcome to this edition of Family Health. Today we have expert psychologist, Dr. John Medic, a real live doctor with a diploma, to tell us why our children are so troubled."
"Hi, Jane. Yes, it's true. Our children are stressed. They're depressed. Why this fancy graph alone shows the terrible state our children are in."
"Why that's terrible, Doctor! Look at those squiggly lines."
"That's right, Jane. Scientific research shows that our children are a mess."
[Jane looking concerned] "Doctor, what can the average American parent do?"
"I'm glad you asked that, Jane. For a limited time, Disney, a well know and respected company that has been in business for well over 75 years, has the solution! Children who watch animated Disney movies show marked improvement! Oh, sure, they drool a little and they can't stop singing the movie songs, but look how happy they are! Jane, right now, parents can order these very same videos for their children but in order to take advantage of this special offer, they need to order in the next 30 minutes!"
"What happens after that?"
"I'm sorry to say the vault closes."
[Jane looking concerned] "Oh dear..."
[Doctor looking concerned] "That's why it's especially important that parents call right away! Operators are standing by..."