"You got me goin'... you're oh so charmin'..." --Britney Spears

Come closer... I don't want other people to hear this... There. That's so much better. *deep inhale, smile* Mmm, you smell nice.

Can we talk about flirting for a bit?

Can we just admit that sometimes we flirt? And there's a lot of reasons that we flirt?

Sometimes it's because we're attracted to people. Sometimes we just want the thrill of being a bit naughty. Sometimes we're feeling playful. Sometimes we're pushing boundaries. Sometimes we're bored. Sometimes we're curious. Sometimes we want to be perceived as charming or clever. Sometimes we want other people to feel attractive. Sometimes we are merely giving as good as we get.

And on the interwebs it is so easy to flirt. To take an idea or turn of a phrase and bend it to our liking. To provide innuendo that maybe was there all along or maybe wasn't but it's sure out there now. Because how much responsibility do you need to take if someone gives you an opening (ahem) and you merely take it?

Blogland is often a place to share secrets; an invitation to intimacy; a daring bit of exposure we might not otherwise offer up. Isn't that kind of what flirting is all about?

The interwebs is a fun place but it's not real life. Maybe it's a fun place because it's not real life.

True story from the land beyond the interwebs:

Years ago, Hubby and I were sitting at a cafe. There was a young, attractive woman sitting alone at a nearby table who was staring at Hubby. We both realized it. Curious, he looked at her. With her eyes locked on his, she took that moment to lick the circumference of her hot chocolate mug.

I kid you not.

Flirting? Yes. Tacky? Oh, yes. Effective? Hard to say as we don't know what her motivation was.

He opted not to pursue it. I opted to let him live.

;)

"I gotta be me!" --Sammy Davis, Jr., Part II

[Proving once again that sexy is all in the attitude.]


In a different form of limiting the real you...

I know someone who refused to let her boyfriend see her without make-up for a VERY long time. (Hi, Honey. :)) They were sleeping together and she would go to sleep in her make-up. Then she'd get up before him and rush to the bathroom to re-do her makeup.

Now, I have some understanding about wanting to hide bad skin. I keep my concealer close at hand.

It was still interesting to me that she had no problem with him seeing her naked from the neck down but not from the neck up. And, of course, this couldn't have been good for her skin.

We all have things about us (physical or otherwise) we are hesitant to share. (Well, except LiLu. Hugs!) We don't want to scare away someone we're falling for. We don't want to see that "God, you're amazing" look in their eyes flicker and fail. We don't want to lose all sense of mystery ...or do we?

So... the second half of the "what percent are you" question: What percentage of you are you on a first date? When, if ever, in a relationship, do you hit 100%? Is 100% desirable? How about from them?

"I gotta be me!" --Sammy Davis, Jr.

I'm probably about 70% me at work. When I started working so many years ago, it was probably more like 30%. Maybe by my last six weeks I'll top 90%. Maybe not.

Part of it is that I'm somewhat private at work. These people are my coworkers, not my friends. There's a difference in what I share.

Plus, I'm definitely squashing the fun side at work. I know this. Because work is... WORK! And if you are having fun can you really be working? There are times when people are having fun at work and I have a little struggle in my head... they're doing it, maybe I should do it, too. Especially if the boss is part of the fun. Don't want to be a stick in the mud, after all.*

I'm not sure where these messages came from but they are definitely lodged firmly in my brain.

So...the question du jour: What percentage of you are you at work? Is it right/reasonable to expect to bring 100% of you to work?




* Is a stick in the mud really not fun? What if you wiggle it or draw goofy faces with it?

"Everybody's lookin' somewhere for their fair share of wonder" --Steve Gillette & Charles John Quarto

Saturday night we try an Arlington restaurant that has a promising menu. You'll note I'm not mentioning the restaurant's name or opening with a rave because even though the food was okay to good it was overshadowed by a number of strange moments. Yeah, I'm overly critical. Check this out anyway and tell me if this is the kind of dining experience you look for...

Strange moment #1: The table or Do we not clean up well?

We arrive promptly for a 7:00 reservation and are shown to a table in the half-full restaurant. They show us to the table closest to the bathroom. And, before you ask, we were dressed appropriately and acting appropriately. We weren't even doing the potty dance. We asked if we might be seated somewhere that wasn't right next to the bathroom. The hostess said "Sure!" and pointed us to the next table over.

Strange moment #2: The order or I didn't mean to confuse you.

The waitress is taking our order. It goes something like this...

Me: I'd like the Grilled Mushrooms... and the Fisherman's Pasta, please.
Waitress: You want... what?
Me: *pointing at each item on the menu* The Grilled Mushrooms for my appetizer and the Fisherman's Pasta for the entree. Please.
Waitress: Grilled Mushrooms?
Me: *pointing to menu where it says Grilled Mushrooms* Yes, and the Fisherman's Pasta.
Waitress: That's so weird. It used to say Stuffed Mushrooms. They must have changed it.
Me: Stuffed? Often, stuffed mushrooms are fried. Are these fried or grilled?
Waitress: Well, even when the menu said stuffed, they weren't really stuffed. No, they weren't fried. They were grilled, I think.
Me: Okay, I'll have that.
Waitress: I didn't know they changed the menu.
Me:
Waitress: *writing* Okay, the Mushrooms and the Fisherman's Pasta.

Now, call me quirky, but I expect the waitstaff to know what's on the menu. And, if they don't, I don't think they should be dwelling on this fact.

Strange moment #3: The Bread or The waitress giveth and the waitress taketh away.

The waitress comes by to check on us as we are starting into the complimentary (yay!), warm (yay!) bread. It's kind of funky--a cheese bread. I'm not complaining but she sees my expression. She asks if I don't like the bread. I say it's okay. She says she can bring me something else. (Nice, right?) I say if it's no trouble that would be lovely, and she brings a basket with different bread in it. This time a multigrain.*

Picture it: we are two people sitting on the inside seats of a four top. This means that half of the table is empty. Space is not an issue--for us. In order to put the second basket down in front of us (why in front of us when there's half an empty table?), she pushes Hubby's water out of the way and nearly dumps it in his lap. As she puts the basket down she says "You probably want to combine those so you don't have two baskets." (Again, why?) While she is off at another table we meekly comply and she whisks away the empty basket when she swings by.

Once we have received and enjoyed our appetizers, she decides we've had enough bread, even though the basket is still half full. She picks up my bread plate and stacks it with the dirty appetizer plates. She starts to reach for my husband's bread plate...

Hubby: I think I'm going to have more bread.
Waitress: *pause* Oh.
She then turns to me and says: Would you like your plate back?
Me, looking at the stacked dirty dishes: No, that's okay.

Strange moment #4: The bill or You don't have to go home but you can't stay here.

In lieu of dessert we opt for after-dinner drinks. We are maybe a quarter of the way through them when she deposits the check in its billfold on our table. Um, huh? It's not like we are at the Waffle House and it's not like we have been dallying for hours and it's not like every table is taken and, most importantly, its not like we asked for the check!




* Bonus curiosity: If you managed a restaurant and had two types of bread, wouldn't you just put both types out for the table? Is there some reason you'd serve one type of bread at a time? What am I missing here? Help a blogger out.

Assorted Flotsom

[It's like pocket lint--if I don't put it somewhere it builds up.]


Does Wendy Williams seem like a female impersonator to anyone but me? Even with the double Ds. Maybe especially with the double Ds.

The Vagisil commercials say if you have vaginal itching or burning, then you should get Vagisil. I think, if you have vaginal itching or burning, there is something way wrong and what you should get is an appointment with a doctor, fergawdssake.


Saw the following bumper sticker, liked it: Wag more, bark less.

If all the food we eat is in a state of decay, would we be healthier being parasites? Just chomp down on the apple while it's still on the tree? Note: This is not an invitation to send me video of people eating live fish/animals/Ozzy biting the head off a bat. Mike, I'm looking at you.

Speaking of attacking living things, aren't we just being cruel to bonsai trees by stunting them every time they try to grow?

LA's first rule of painting: Painting a room will seem like a brilliant idea until we are 5 minutes into it. LA's second rule of painting: During any painting session, I will put my foot on top of the upturned paint lid or into the rolling pan of paint at least once.

And finally...

How many coupons can Bed, Bath and Beyond send me in a week? 2,103 apparently.