08 May 2013

"Says she wanna dance cus she likes the groove" --Young MC

Maybe I'm profiling here.  'Cause I'm going to say something that brands a whole category of people and probably isn't fair.  BUT, I'm saying it.  Because I see it.  I don't want to see it.  But I do see it.  A LOT. 

It isn't that all of them do it, but,... 

And, don't get me wrong, some of my best friends are...

Um, maybe I should just get on with this.

About a week ago, we joined friends at the Bethesda Blues and Jazz Supper Club.   The space is interesting and the food/drink is okay and the bands are enjoyable but what happened... what we witnessed... *shudder*

It's not the club's fault.  Well, it sorta is... they do have that dance floor... 

*deep breath*  Okay.

What is it about middle-aged, white women and bands?  Why do these women insist on dancing, by themselves or with each other, when they can NOT dance?  But, there they were, Cinderella's three ugly stepsisters, lined up in all their gawkiness in front of the stage, getting down. Not one in time with the band.  They weren't even in time with each other.

#1 was doing the "overzealous hip sway with occasional out-of-time clap".

#2 was doing the "step-left-step-right-repeat with your arms up and at odd angles like you are reaching for a light bulb in a closet".

#3 was doing the "'I'm trying to find the beat' toe tap with the wobbly, 270 degree spin around".

WHY?!  Why can't we eradicate this scourge in our lifetime?

At some point in my life, I accepted the fact that I don't have the dance gene.  Wish I did.  I don't.  I moved on.

Questions du jour:  
  1. Why can't most middle-aged, white women dance?
  2. Why do they insist on dancing anyway?
  3. Are they taking Lee Ann Womack's request too literally?


the dogs' mother said...

There is a wedding reception trend. All married couples are supposed to get up and dance. Then they count down how many years - every one married five years and under sit down, ten years, 15 years. GAWD - we were like 28-ish years at the time and then they go on to find the longest married couple. Next wedding I'm diving under the refreshment table or trip The Engineer or... something!!

Tania said...

I blame the wine.

Mike said...

I'm sure in their minds eye they are much better than they think they are.

The last wedding dance we were in was a slow dance so it wasn't so bad.

spleeness said...

Ha! I love dancing although I think I suck. I will only do it when the ration of others who suck crowd the dance floor and no one can see me. Like, no space around any bodies. If there is space (especially enough to be seen by the seated), I gracefully decline flailing about in public.

spleeness said...

*ratio not ration, argh! That whole sentence needs to be retyped AND I need my first coffee of the day.

The Bug said...

I am almost entirely rhythm-free & try to avoid "dancing" at all costs. Occasionally I've been dragooned - but then I just sort of shift from side to side & nod. The goal is to not make any actually moves that would demonstrate how BAD I am :)

lacochran's evil twin said...

the dog's mother: I had no idea this was a current trend. Ugh.

Tania: As do I. For most things. Delicious, delicious wine.

Mike: They'd *have* to be.

spleeness: Density checks. It just makes good sense when there's flailing involved. Wait...

The Bug: :) Chicken dance is about the extent of my mad dance skillz.