"And make me burn the candle right down" -- The Rolling Stones

I saw a great show this week.  If you were in the DC area on Monday, I don't have to tell you about the big concert in town.

And, yeah, I'm all about satisfaction and gettin' me some but I didn't spend the evening looking at this:

 or this:

*gag*

I spent the evening looking at an entirely different geezer:

We saw Steve Martin and the Steep Canyon Rangers who have teamed with Edie Brickell.  Extraordinarily impressive musicians and vocalists (the Rangers) and Steve even threw in a joke here and there.  But, even though we traded the debauchery of rock and roll for the low-key dignity of bluegrass, I still felt the need to write:

7 Reasons You Know You Are Getting Too Old For Concerts

1.  The lawn looks less 'cool, party space' and more 'uncomfortable, mosquito chow'.

2.  A Morning Star veggie burger in a cardboard container costing $10 doesn't raise an eyebrow.  (It came with a pile of greasy potato chips! Score!!!!)

3.  You're THRILLED to take a shuttle from mass transit because it means you don't have to deal with the parking.  THRILLED!!!

4.  You actually spend some time reading the brochure they handed you on entry.

5.  As the night goes on, instead of thinking "This is AWESOME!" you think "I have to get up at 5:30 tomorrow to make that meeting."

6.  You go to concerts where the most suspicious smell is that of the unwashed folks seated near you.

7.  At the concerts you go to, you don't have to yell "Down in front!" because no one bothers to stand up.

Question du jour:  What are you getting too old for? Or desperately clinging to as if you are not?

"Who are you... who... who... who... who..." --The Who (of course)

I received the following email:

Dear Eric, Recently you and/or members of your household entered the Southern Lady Sweepstakes which is partnered with VisitSarasota.org.  You would’ve received an envelope in your mailbox from VisitSarasota.org containing a brochure with information about our area that was mistakenly addressed to the incorrect individual.  We apologize for this error and have corrected our system. If you would like us to resend another VisitSarasota.org brochure, please click the link below and enter your complete name and mailing address and we will send one to you right away. www.phasevprojects.com/visit_sarasota/ Thank you for your interest in the Southern Lady Sweepstakes and the Sarasota area. Sincerely, VisitSarasota.org

Of note:

• It was sent to Eric
• They say they had previously sent me information addressed to the incorrect individual but they've corrected that now!

Dear Eric, Recently you and/or members of your household entered the Southern Lady Sweepstakes which is partnered with VisitSarasota.org.  You would’ve received an envelope in your mailbox from VisitSarasota.org containing a brochure with information about our area that was mistakenly addressed to the incorrect individual.  We apologize for this error and have corrected our system. If you would like us to resend another VisitSarasota.org brochure, please click the link below and enter your complete name and mailing address and we will send one to you right away. www.phasevprojects.com/visit_sarasota/ Thank you for your interest in the Southern Lady Sweepstakes and the Sarasota area. Sincerely, VisitSarasota.org

Um...

I guess you can call me Eric from now on.*  I didn't think I had gender confusion but apparently Southern Lady Sweepstakes saw through my denial. 

I always wanted a good reason to march in a parade.

Questions du jour: 

1. Is the sun too hot in Florida?  Global warming, you know...
2. If you had to have a name for yourself that was associated with the opposite sex, what would you pick?

* It sure beats "Dick". **
** Not that I'm an expert on beating Dick. ***
*** This has taken an ugly turn.  Look away from the footnotes. ****
**** WHAT?!

"Why you have to go and make things so complicated?" --Avril Lavigne

Today we got a new washing machine.  Isn't she lovely?

This became necessary when the old one shook, rattled, did the electric slide into the middle of the room, leaked, and squealed repeatedly.*

This is the simplest, cheapest name brand washing machine we could find with an okay energy rating.

Check it:  4 knobs and a button.  That was the simplest.  I swear.  In addition to a power button on the right, you have:

your 6 "load size" settings, your 6 "temperature" settings, and your 5 "options".  Enough for any one's needs, right?

Apparently not.  Because you also have this:

because how could you live without a Jeans setting?  How did we live without a Jeans setting?  We were animals.

What I really want in a washing machine:
                      Small, medium, large.
                      Hot, warm, cold.
                      Wet, swish, rinse, and spin.

That's it.  The rest is fluff.** 

It's like a blender having a frappe setting.  For all your constant frappe-ing needs.  When it's the same blade in the same container no matter what you set it on.  The only thing changing is the speed.  So, why not have a speed button that goes from 1 to 10 and be done.  Or better yet, 1 to 5.  Or 1 to 3.  Or On and Off!  Life is so damn complicated!!!

Question du jour: How often do you frappe? ***



* Sure, when the baby does it, everyone thinks it's adorable.

** Oh, wait, that's a dryer setting.

***  Do you do it in sight of the neighbors?

"I need my love to translate" -- Steve Winwood

Freshman year, I lived down the hall from someone named Debbie who came from Long Guylind.

That's the way she said it.  Honest.  Here's what I remember:  She had super long, always manicured nails, such that opening a can of soda was impossible.  Not sure why anyone would incapacitate themselves like that but she did.  I guess I value soda more than talons.  More positively, she introduced me to Steve Winwood's Arc of a Diver.  For that alone, I'm wishing her well, wherever she is.

This was before the Internet and before easy access to lyrics so when I sang along with Steve I got at least 50% of the words wrong but, hey, as I said, this was before easy access to lyrics so who could prove me wrong?

Imagine my delight when I came across TLC's Long Island Medium.   Have you seen this show, my cheeky monkeys?  Theresa Caputo is delightful!  Truly so likable in a loud Long Island way.  Big hair and bigger personality.   And note the size of her nails!!!
 

                                                                                      LOVE her!

And a medium on top of it?  FABULOUS!  This is my new guilty pleasure.  What other show can make you both laugh and cry in the course of a half hour?

Or should I say "half owwah"? 

Questions du jour:

Here is a sample of the supposedly accurate, Internet-provided Arc of a Diver lyrics:

Arc of a diver effortlessly, my mind in sky and when I wake up
Daytime and nighttime I feel you near
Warm water breathing she helps me here

This time to the sky I'll sing if clouds don't hear me
To the sun I'll cry and even if I'm blinded
I'll try moon gazer because with you I'm stronger
 
Question 1)  Did Steve do a lot of drugs?

Question 2)  LIM is the best show ever.  Right?  AmIright??*




* I'm totally right.

Twofer

That's right: Two! Two! Two posts in one day!

Don't believe me?!  Check out that adorable hamster doing the cardio below.  But first...

Here's a quick hypothetical:  Say you, and others, get invited to a work lunch to welcome a new person.  You're all invited first thing in the morning for lunch that day, if you can make it.  Everybody is expected to pay their own way.  How hard do you try to make lunch with all the awkward work banter?

No reason.  Just hypothetical.

*pokes head out door, looks left, looks right, and makes a dash for the parking lot*