"Baby, baby, don't get hooked on me" --Mac Davis

So, hypothetically, of course...

You're amongst people you know. In the room, there are, among others, a young couple and their few-month-old baby. The baby has a good disposition and is generally the star in the room. Lots of 'oo'-ing and 'aa'-ing and you do a bit of "aww, isn't that sweet" yourself. Eventually, the baby gets offered up for holding. People clamor to hold the baby. Eventually, Young Parent turns to you, expectantly, and says "Would you like to hold the baby?"

Thoughts that come to mind:

No.

Not really.

This outfit isn't drool-resistant.

Why? I've been watching it for the last hour. It doesn't do much.

I'm fine without that responsibility, thanks.

and similarly (apparently) inappropriate things. It isn't that you have a problem with the baby, you just have no desire to hold it.

Question #1: Does this make you a mean or cold person?

Question #2: What do you say to Young Parent?

and, finally, Question #3: Is it rude to not hold the baby?

"Sometimes I wish, oft times I wish, that I never never knew..." --Carly Simon

*links arms*

Walk with me. Talk with me. Let's visit the land of hypothetical, hmm?

Let's say you have three friends: Huey, Dewey, and Louie. Assign any genders you like. You count all three of them as friends but you're not tight with any of them.

One night you are out with Huey and Dewey and they start telling you a story about Louie. It's not a complimentary story. They're not saying Louie is a child molester, mind you. It's more like Louie threw a pie at each of them.

You express surprise. You've never even seen Louie with a pie. Maybe Louie ate a piece of cake in front of you, but pie? No. They are adamant that they had to spend hours getting the whipped cream out of their hair and, OMG, the dry cleaning bills!

You ask them what they said to Louie. Turns out they said nothing. They're still hanging out with Louie. Just less. And not within pie throwing distance.

So, now you have this information. What do you do with it?