"By the sea, by the sea, by the beautiful sea" --Atteridge and Caroll

[Obviously, not me. Who the heck wears pearls to snorkel? That's just inviting an oyster uprising.]


"I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot." --Kevin James


We went snorkeling in Cozumel.

Well, mostly, I went snorkeling in short bursts and the husband pretended I wasn't about to get eaten by a great white shark. He was rather convincing in pretending not to be concerned. In fact, he looked like he dozed off there on his beach chair, but I'm sure it was just to reassure me that there was no cause for concern, despite my dramatic goodbye speeches and forlorn last hand wave. Every. Single. Time. I. Went. Out.

So, snorkeling: I go out into the sea and I look around and, well, that's it. But there's some pretty amazing things out there, even without the great white or the giant squid or that thing that offed the Crocodile Wrestler.*

So, on the last day before we were to head back, when the husband said he'd do the snorkel thing with me**, I was pleased. We both went out into the sea and looked around. And there was pointing! Yes, honest to god pointing! By both of us. And maybe by a fish or two. There was so much to see!

But, here's where we differ. Where I would get a little freaked out when I found myself in a school of fish and worry that I might accidentally flipper one of them, the husband was reaching out trying to touch the parrot fish.

Anyway, even more amazing, I'm talking with an acquaintance about snorkeling in Cozumel and the following conversation ensues:

Him: Yeah, if you don't mind them biting.

Me: What?

Him: The fish bite your nipples.

Me: Whaaaat?!?

Him: You probably kept your top on.

Me: Yeah...?

Him: Every time I go snorkeling the fish bite my nipples.

Me: You're kidding.

Him: No, I'm serious. *pause* They don't bite hard.

Which leads to the simultaneously delicate and indelicate question du jour: Ever had your nipples nibbled by a fish?



* Well, he didn't really hunt them, now, did he?

** Not a euphemism.