"End this day, show me the ocean... When shall I see the sea?" --James Taylor

[They'd sit but they wouldn't fetch.]


I like the Hudson Trail Outfitters. Much like the kids like the MTV.

But I am looking at a bag from HTO that says "8 Convenient Locations" and this is just not so. You see, they list Gaithersburg as one of the eight. Gaithersburg?! Convenient? That's a lie! You know it and I know it. They should have researched more before putting that on their bags. Gaithersburg may be where some people are, you know, maybe, but it's not convenient to anyone.

But this is the problem with advertising. It is vague. It is specious. We see falsities so often that they don't register. And they chipchipchip away at our souls. And not in the good way, like a Chips Ahoy cookie. 'Cause Chips Ahoy? They're not what I'd call a great cookie but if they're in front of me, I'll certainly eat them. Lots of them. Without even realizing it. So, maybe it is in the same way.

I had a friend who went to a Beaches property in Jamaica. Imagine her surprise when she got to the property and it wasn't on a beach. The beach wasn't far away and apparently they had shuttles running to it. Still a Beaches that isn't on a beach? It's in the freaking name, people!

A number of years back, we went to a resort and paid extra to have an ocean facing room. And we got an ocean facing room. Disappointingly, it wasn't an ocean view room. We couldn't see the ocean. But, management explained, we were facing it. What we came to realize was that, technically, every room in the world is ocean facing. If you face out of a room and go far enough, you find ocean.

So, next time someone asks you about your cubicle, tell them it's ocean facing.

And conveniently located.

Wait, it's not in Gaithersburg, is it?