Life Would Be a Breeze, Shaboom, Shaboom

[A couple different Breezeways for your viewing pleasure.]

Greetings from Delta jail.

We flew Delta last week. When they started boarding they used a relatively standard order:

1) Special Assistance
2) First Class
3) Frequent Flyer Elite
4) Zone 1
5) Zone 2
etc.

The strange and wondrous part was that once they got through with the Special Assistance folks, they insisted that the First Class and Frequent Flyer Elite category people use the Breezeway and that other categories use the non-Breezeway route.

They had a divider consisting of two metal poles and a segment stretched between the poles like you might find in a bank. On one side was a mat that said "Breezeway". That was the only distinction we could see: the mat. Whether you went on the plebeian left side of the divider or the elite right side of the divider, you wound up at the gate in the same number of steps and dealt with the same Delta ticket checker.

When they called for First Class and instructed them to use the Breezeway, the First Class fliers dutifully lined up on the Breezeway side except for one, who was busy yammering on his cell phone. He tried to use the non-Breezeway side (!) and the Delta people snapped at him until he went back to the Breezeway side. Ahhhh, they say you get treated differently in First Class and it's so true!

When we landed, we walked through the gate and I saw a Breezeway mat and I WALKED ON IT. It was everything I'd dreamed of and oh, so much more! I'll long remember the gentle plushness of that Breezeway mat under my feet. Finally, I know how the other half lives. Sure, they carted me off to Delta jail but it was so worth it!

Please don't forget me. Tell my story so that one day we might all enjoy the blessings of the Breezeway. Oh, and please send supplies. Anything except Fisher peanuts, Lance crackers or Biscoff cookies. I'm sick of those.