15 October 2012
Me: I'm going to go with the iPhone.
Hubs: The 4? Or are you going to wait weeks for the 5?
Before I can answer the guy behind me takes it out.* That's right, he pulls his iPhone 5 out of his pocket and interjects: Wait for the 5, it's totally worth it! You'll love it. Here! Feel it!
He motions to hand his phone to Hubs.
Hubs to Guy: I don't love anything about Apple. In fact I think they're the great Satan.**
We can feel all eyes turning to look at us.
Guy: *pause* What are you an Android guy?
Hubs: That's right.
Guy, dismissively: Oh, there's no comparison.
Hubs: I couldn't agree more!
Guy: *blink* ***
Later, after the purchase is complete, and we are in the car...
Me, incredulous: You announced that you thought Apple was the great Satan in an AT&T store. Why would you say that?! You know Apple isn't the great Satan. That's always been Bill Gates!
Hubs: I just wanted to shut him up. I could just tell he was one of those people who camped out so he could be one of the first people to get one. He was just looking for an opportunity to show it off.
So, anyway, things change. When everybody had a Blackberry, I had a Palm. When all the cool kids bought an iPhone, I bought an Android. Now everyone is jumping on the iPhone 5 bandwagon and I'm tired of being bandwagon-less.
God have mercy on my soul.
Question du jour: Just how damn cute are lemmings?
ELAINE: He took it out.
JERRY: (confused) He what?
ELAINE: He took (blows on her glasses twice to clean them) it out.
JERRY: He took what out?
JERRY: He took It, Out?
ELAINE: Yessiree Bob.
JERRY: He couldn't.
ELAINE: He did.
JERRY: (motions of making out) Well you were involved in some sort of amorous...
JERRY: You mean he just
JERRY: Are you sure?
ELAINE: Oh quite.
JERRY: There was no mistaking it?
ELAINE: (looks straight into his eyes) Jerry.
JERRY: So you were talking, (Elaine makes an agreement sound "mmm") you're having pleasant conversation, (Elaine makes an agreement sound "mmm") then all of sudden...
** If the AT&T store were an old west saloon, this is when the piano player would stop playing.
*** Piano player resumes music, people start talking, and Miss Kitty considers investing in sarsaparilla futures.