14 May 2010

"Island Girl" --Elton John

Ah, Antigua. I miss you already. I admit that, at first, I was just after you for your looks. You can't blame me... Your intoxicating vistas. Your sensuous curves. Your bold colors. Your lush landscape. And, oh, god, to feel your heat! But the truth is, you are so much more that stunningly beautiful. You are friendly and welcoming and interesting and, oh my god, your luscious mangoes!!


Moving on...

Sigh... Yes, I am back. There were a few things of note on my journey:

  • The woman in the row in front of me on the plane from Antigua had a regulation-sized can of Pringles and likewise a Hershey bar. She alternated a Pringle and a bite of chocolate, Pringle, chocolate. This I can accept but can someone explain to me why she washed it down with a Diet Coke?
  • I made a startling discovery while I was away: you do not have to have Vietnamese jabbered all around you to have a successful manicure or pedicure. I know! I was shocked, too. Our room came with a sizable spa credit so I got a manicure and a pedicure and an even shorter and sassier haircut (this one people are actually complimenting me on!) and it was sooooo relaxing. Oh course, to maintain this do, I'll have to fly back to Antigua about once a month. Oh well. Price of beauty blah blah.
  • Our departure from Miami back to DC was delayed an hour, so, instead of leaving at 10 PM we left at 11 PM. As they packed the plane with standbys, it was completely full. The stews were tired and nudging people to sit down so we could go already and possibly land in DC by 1 AM. The 30-something woman in the aisle seat across from me seemed to think she might die if she didn't get to sit next to the man she came on board with. She repeatedly harangued the stew about the possibility of changing seats. The flight was full. Why would anyone change seats? She wasn't a child, after all. For the love of god, we're talking about a two hour flight! Suck it up, Woman! Meanwhile, the man who was her entire world, took his seat in the back of the plane and promptly fell sleep.
  • At the resort, there were plenty of young newlyweds. In fact the demographic broke pretty cleanly between just married 20-somethings and your 40-plusses. One recent bride sported a tramp stamp that read: DAD. That's right. A tramp stamp that read DAD. I've heard of being a Daddy's girl but... ew. I guess I would have understood it more if it had read "Daddy", as in "Who's your..." Anybody want to venture an explanation for this? I am at a loss.

At least Barbie got it right.


Drama Queen said...

I LOVE Antigua! We stopped there once on a cruse and did the Eco Kayak tour or something - it was fun!

And...we drink Diet Coke so we CAN eat the Hershey bar and Pringles and not feel TOO guilty about it! I figure I've got to save some calories somewhere - so that's why we eat fattening stuff and drink the Diet. It's a trade-off. :)

Love the story of the tramp stamp and the 30-year old baby on the plane. Too funny!

Liebchen said...

That sounds like an amazing vacation - so relaxing!

But I'm at a loss on the odd tramp stamp. I mean, it were something she got in memory of her dad...why get it there?

HKW said...

Welcome back! Still jealous of your vacation by the way.

Wow, "Dad"? I'm speechless, let's hope it is somone's initials or something? I'm really excited about the Toy Story 3 movie coming soon with Micheal Keaton as "Ken".

Pauline said...

Welcome back! Antigua sounds heavenly!
As for the "DAD" tramp stamp? Creepy. Very creepy!

Lemon Gloria said...

Diet Coke is the only reasonable thing to drink with chocolate and potato chips. You can't add 250 calories to that. Not speaking from any kind of similar experience or anything.

And welcome back! I've never been to Antigua, but it sounds wonderful!

And and - could DAD be initials?

Mike said...

If Antigua is so nice, just think how BAD Gua must be.

Cyndy said...

I'm drooling with envy. That island is so gorgeous - I want to go NOW.

I have this impression that way back in the olden days everyone in the Navy would get a tattoo at some point, usually while drunk. And if they didn't have a girlfriend they'd get one that said Mom. I think I've actually seen more than one of these on the arms of some of the old men I work with on occasion. Maybe her dad or grandfather had a Mom tattoo and she did it to be funny.

Barbara said...

You and your island vacations make me green with envy! Most vacations come with a memorable set of characters, yes? Would love to see the new haircut.

Bowie Mike said...

A "Dad" tattoo? Seriously? Maybe she could have been more discrete and got a tattoo of the Chinese symbol for "Dad" instead.

Reya Mellicker said...

Dad? That gives me the willies. Yuck.

Of course there were terrible airplane stories. Flying sucks. it just does. Take me back in time please. Let me take the train. Let me take a boat. Please??
Lunch would be great. Give a call or email. Let's do it. I really want to see your new haircut. xx

Malnurtured Snay said...

Diet Coke tastes better than regular Coke, but not as good as Coke Zero. Truth.

lacochran said...

Drama Queen: Ah, it's all in the balance, got it.

Liebchen: Aren't tributes to Mom or Dad usually on the upper arm?

HKW: There are some initials I still wouldn't put there. Michael Keaton as Ken? Will they dye him blond?

Pauline: That's what I thought!

Lemon Gloria: Balance. Got it. And, yeah, but not every set of initials belongs on your upper buttal region. I can think of quite a few 3 letter combinations that I wouldn't want ANYwhere.

Mike: *points* Back to your cage.

Cyndy: On the arm, yes. On the upper buttal region, ew.

Barbara: We could plan a tag up before it gets shaggy again.

Bowie Mike: And just creep out the Chinese people around her?

Reya Mellicker: I know, ew. And, done!

Malnurtured Snay: Bzzzt! I'm sorry but that's just wrong. What parting gifts do we have for him, Johnny?