Years ago, I went to a party.* I had bought a new outfit because, at the time, I was trying to impress a guy that, at this point in time, I realize wasn't worth the effort. You with me? I got this outfit that I thought was pretty dang snazzy and I thought I looked good, in a dramatic sort of way. I can pull off dramatic to some level.
So, I show up to the party and I spot a friend of mine and his girlfriend. I head over to them and the conversation goes like this....
Me: Hi, folks!
Friend: Hey, LA, glad you made it.
Me: Me, too! How's it going?
Friend: Good, good.
Friend's girlfriend, looking at my clothes: You look very *pause* New York.
Me: *pause* Is that a compliment?
Friend's girlfriend:
Me: Is it?
Friend's girlfriend:
Friend: Er, there's beer over here...
Is this reasonable??
She's willing to insult me to my face but then not own it? What the heck is that? Why say anything at all? This is like the person who comments that you've gotten a new haircut but then doesn't say anything more. If you don't like it, why mention it at all?
*Okay, that sounds like it's been years since I've been to a party. I've been to parties since then. I don't want you to get the idea that I'm never invited anywhere. I get invited. At least the first time.**
** At least I'm not a double dipper. I dip, bite, turn the chip, and dip again. You?
Bitch. I bet she was jealous of you and your style.
ReplyDeleteMaybe it was both a compliment and an insult?
ReplyDeleteShould have slapped her about the head with a wet fish...
ReplyDeleteI keep one in a zip lock, in my purse, just in case an occasion like this arises!
You can borrow it anytime darlin :-)
I would have thought it was a compliment. I love NY. And as for double dipping... I break the chip into pieces and then dip each piece. Allows me the maximum dip to chip ratio.
ReplyDeleteThat definitely falls into the backhanded compliment category....kinda like "You sweat less than any fat chick I've ever danced with"
ReplyDeleteSimply put- it's a bitchy as hell thing to say if you're not willing to own it.
Sometimes I wonder what goes through people's heads before they open their mouths. Sometimes I think it's nothing.
ReplyDeleteNoooooo double dippin'.
ReplyDeleteWv: difingua - What you get when you cut someone off in traffic.
You can avoid those problems by just going to parties naked. I find it to be quite a conversation stopper. I started doing it the year I was stumped for a costume for a Halloween party and decided to go naked except for roller skates and tell everyone I was a pull toy.
ReplyDeleteBut what did the guy think? Who cares what some bitchy woman thinks?! She was probably insanely jealous. I had a friend who also would say just enough so you weren't really sure what the real message was. That's when you have to be able to look in the mirror and like what you see despite these people!
ReplyDeleteI'm all for dip and turn. The chip is just the means for getting to the good stuff, right?
That was your cue to say "Ho, sit down."
ReplyDeleteAnd don't dip again with any side of the chip. DON'T. DO. IT.
ReplyDeleteWhat were you supposed to look like, Peoria?
ReplyDeleteWhat does New York look like exactly?
ReplyDeleteNew York? Like dressed all in black? Were you dressed like Mona Lisa Vito?
ReplyDeleteHi! I just read your guest post over at White Collar Redneck.
ReplyDeleteThe Friend's GF was probably having an attack of the green-eyed monster. What a fool.
Titania: As Hemingway said, "Isn't it pretty to think so?"
ReplyDeleteMalnurtured Snay: Um... maybe?
Fiona: I may have to take you up on that.
*Jac*: Dip to chip ratio is critical!
Repliderium.com: Thanks for the validation.
Liebchen: Truer words were never spoken.
Mike: Isn't difingua what you use to slop up the dip you spill from your chip?
Bilbo: Agnes is a saint. (But we knew that.)
Barbara: We went out for a while so he must have liked the outfit. :)
SingLikeSassy: Wish I had.
SingLikeSassy: But... what's wrong with the non-saliva-ed side?
Reya Mellicker: Ha!
Matt: This
f.B: Oh, to be as stylish as Marisa.
Soda and Candy: Mmm, could be but it sure felt lousy at the time. Thanks for stopping by!
Last time I checked, NY fashion was pretty tops. Maybe her silence was indicative of her realization that she had no idea what she was talking about.
ReplyDeleteInsults should always be backed by gonads. Otherwise, they are just whines.