A while back, I was at a wedding of a college pal of mine and, at the reception, I got seated with a group of folks who were all from our alma mater. It'd been about 10 years since I'd seen any of them.
I recognized all of my schoolmates but one. I assumed this woman was the date of someone else at the table. Um, not so much.
It went something like this:
Me, graciously trying to make the outsider feel at ease: Hi, I'm L.A.
Her: I know!
Me *You know?* : Um...
Her: You don't remember me??
Me *Crap*: Uh...
Her, voice rising: L.A., we were in the same year at [alma mater].
Me *Crap!*: Er...
Her, incredulously: We were in several classes together!
The whole table has stopped chatting and is now looking at the two of us.
Me *Crap! Crap! Crap!*: I...
Her: I SAT RIGHT NEXT TO YOU IN [class name]!
She then tells me her FIRST and LAST name in a pretty ticked off voice and...
People... I'm telling you...
I got nothing. NOTHING. Her name is meaningless. I can not, for the life of me, place this chick.
And, now, it's abundantly clear that she thinks she knows me pretty dang well.*
Me: Oh, right! Sure! It's been a while now. Forgive me. You've changed a little. I guess we all have.
Her: Everybody else says I look exactly the same! [Tablemate] was just saying how I look exactly the same!
Me: I have a tumor.
Because what the heck else can you say at this point?**
And all this before they'd poured the wine.
* Okay, so we were in a few classes together. I took a friggin' lot of classes. BORING classes. I was half-asleep through most of them. It's not like we did crimes together. Now, those people I remember. Fondly.
** No, of course I didn't say that. I wish I had. Maybe I could have garnered a little sympathy.
Eh. Not your fault she was as interesting and memorable as paint drying. She needs to get on top of her game if she wants folks remembering her and whatnot.
ReplyDeleteWait--were you a cheerleader?
ReplyDeleteIt could be worse...I didn't recognize the old geezer who was shaving across from me this morning.
ReplyDeleteI remember exactly one guy from college classes: Dave, because he was memorable (football player, almost seven feet tall) and we had at least one class together every semester for three years.
ReplyDeleteShe wasn't a super tall football player, right? Anything memorable other than conceit?
Sounds like a great night. :-s
So, the first bit is all awkward and stuff, and sure it's a shame you don't remember her, but she was way out of line driving it into the ground -- talk about impolite.
ReplyDeleteI think when she said, " [Tablemate] was just saying how I look exactly the same!", you were allowed to respond, "Hon, they were lying to you."
I think she should feel embarrassed for remembering ANYTHING from college. I see pictures of myself from that era and wonder who that good looking guy is all the time.
ReplyDeleteI recently ran into a guy I WENT TO THE PROM WITH at a party and I went over and said "hey Bob! How are you?" and he said "do I know you?" and I said "um... yeah. We went to the prom?"
ReplyDelete"I'm sorry. I don't remember you."
Tell me I didn't want to kill myself.
Argh. I am the QUEEN of "Open Mouth Insert Foot" moments, but this one's pretty damn good. Although, it sounds like she needed to be brought down a peg or two. Um, hi, everyone always says you look exactly the same... to your face... get with the program, lady.
ReplyDeleteI guess she just failed to mention that she used to be a man.
ReplyDeleteThe important thing is that YOU made a lasting impression on her...wonder why? :-)
ReplyDeleteI believe in your repression. It's a powerful weapon. And since you unleashed it at an alma mater table, you clearly know how to wield it wisely.
ReplyDelete"Her: You don't remember me??"
ReplyDelete(short version of conversation) At a high school reunion I had a girl and her friend come up to me. "HI MIKE! Hows it going?" I can't see her name tag. She notices I'm looking for it. "OMYGOD YOU DON"T REMEMBER ME!" She and her friend stomp off. I never did find out who it was.
You also think you have a tumor?
ReplyDeleteGood to know I'm not alone.
I can barely remeber my own name. I have to remember other people's too?
ReplyDeletethat seems silly.
I was drunk all through college. I can't even reembmer where I went to college.
ReplyDeleteHere's the thing. This means you were immeasurably memorable! She remembers YOU! I always tell people I've been in a horrible car accident (not entirely a lie) and have amnesia (I think I was so self-absorbed my whole life, I don't remember a thing) then I don't feel so bad.
ReplyDeleteTen years is enough time where you can completely forget someone and not feel bad about it.
ReplyDeleteI'll occasionally pass a coworker who will say hi to me as if they know me, and I'll have no idea who they are. That worries me.
SingLikeSassy: Yeah! On the other hand, she made sure I'd never forget her again.
ReplyDeleteHerb of DC: You were Math Club, right?
Bilbo: :)
Kristin: No, she wasn't and no, nothing.
AbbotofUnreason & Livitluvit: Wish I'd have thought of that!
Narm & Lbluca77: Yeah, she was way too sober.
Kristin: Ouch!
Gilahi: Now, that would have been memorable.
Fiona: It's a blessing and a curse. :)
Franco.Beans: Huh! Hadn't considered that I'd repressed her. Wonder what I'm running from.
Mike: Good riddance.
Arjewtino: My tumor is bigger than your tumor.
Rs27: And just plain wrong.
Kate: Good point! :)
Scotus: They're just messing with your head. Or are they? *insert maniacal laugh*