"And it seems such a waste of time, if that's what it's all about"--Billy Joel

Lacochran's Business Rule #3: After making sure your boss is happy and realizing work isn't really about you, the most important skill to master is being able to sit in a room of painfully boring people for hours on end and not look bored. This means you do not do any of the following behaviors, each of which I swear to you, lovely reader, I've seen:

• Snort derisively*
  
• Drum your fingers incessantly, especially to tunes like Wipe Out
  
• Play video games on your phone/PC
• LOL at the IM/email you just received
• Photoshop your personal photos on your PC
• Do glut, or any other muscle clenching, sets
• Pick your teeth, your ears, or your nose (with great concentration, no less!)
  
• "Adjust" yourself repeatedly
• Pass non-business notes
• Yawn loudly
• Sleep/Snore**
• Lay your head on the conference table (unless you have the special haircut featured in the photo above)
  
• Lay your head on your neighbor's shoulder
• Lean back in your chair so far that the chair tips
• Focus on the ceiling
• Focus out the window
  
• Focus on the chest/crotchal area of the person across from or next to you
• Roll your eyes***

or otherwise let anyone know you are bored to tears. What you can do:

• Look at each person that speaks as if they are the most interesting person on the flippin' planet
• Repeat SILENTLY to yourself, "They're paying me buckets of money for this" and smile serenely.
  

* Snort appreciatively, all you want.

** The manager asked at the end of the meeting "You think we should wake him up or just leave?"

*** This is particularly challenging for me as this is an almost constant expression. I don't even realize I'm doing it. Honest. It's not you, it's me. Call me?